"Although I have guitars all around, and I pick them up occasionally and write a tune and make a record, I don't really see myself as a musician. It may seem a funny thing to say. It's just like, I write lyrics, and I make up songs, but I'm not a great lyricist or songwriter or producer. It's when you put all these things together - that makes me."
6
"I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have days when I'm absolutely great at doing it, and then I have days when I just don't understand it."
8
"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."
6
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
6
"If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny."
6
"I detest jokes - when somebody tells me one, I feel my IQ dropping; the brain cells start to disappear. But something is funny when the person delivering the line doesn't know it's funny or doesn't treat it as a joke. Maybe it comes from a place of truth, or it's a sort of rage against society."
8
"If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you."
6
"If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth."
8
"If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling thought. Or funny."
7
"It was funny that rank-and-file evangelicals were ahead of all the leadership. They saw for decades conservative Republicans had made promises to them on issues that were important to Christians and conservatives when they were running for office. But when they won, they didn't keep those promises."
8
"It sounds funny, but my biggest fear is that I'm not perfect. I'm a perfectionist, and I get upset when things go wrong or when I don't do well."
8
"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name."
8
"One of my biggest pet peeves is that I just don't like it when characters do things that are funny to the writer, but you don't know why they're doing it and it doesn't make any sense."
8
"I'm a fan of the old 'Creature Features' like 'Critters,' and 'Gremlins' and 'Tremors.' 'Jaws' is classic. It's funny that I still like those films because I remember my mom would tease me about getting a pet Critter to keep under my bed."
8
"My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not."
8
"My favorite type of pet has always been a dog. They're loyal, kind, and offer endless affection. My friend Eric says, 'The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.' Funny thought."
6
"Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children."
6
"It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance."
8
"I consider myself very lucky. God has a funny way of bringing some things around and knocking you in the head with the ultimate destination. Something I should have achieved quite easily took me a long time to get around to. It came in His time, not mine."
6
"If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets."
9
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