Funny

"Maybe you could be mine / or maybe we’ll be entwined / aimless in this sexless foreplay."

"If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.
"

"My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored."

"She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert."

"She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment. Didn't apply to Calypso. Obviously."

"Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.
"

"I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.
"

"I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep."

"I’m a fake fact factory. The things I make are the things I make up. Also, as a side business, I make love. Actually, I just made that up."

"My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health."

"Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
"

"Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information?” Bones asked, getting back to the subject. “You to take me,” she replied at once. “Not gonna happen!” I spat, squeezing him possessively. Three sets of widened eyes fixed on me. That’s when I realized that what I had a firm grip on was no longer his hand."

"Whatever happened to the dragon"I mustered my primmest tone. "He has a name, you know."Adrian pulled back and gave me a curious look. "I didn't know, actually. What'd you decide on"Hopper." When Adrian laughed, I added, "Best rabbit ever. He'd be proud to know his name is being passed on."Yes, I'm sure he would. Did you name the Mustang too"I think you mean the Ivashkinator."He stared at me in wonder. "I told you I loved you, right"Yes," I assured him. "Many times."

"To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.
"

"Sam came around the side of the car and stopped dead when he saw me. “Oh my God, what is THAT?” I used my thumb and middle finger to flick the multicolored pom-pom on top of my head. “In my language, we call it a HAT. It keeps my ears warm.” “Oh my God,” Sam said again, and closed the distance between us. He cupped my face in his hands and studied me. “It’s horribly cute.” He kissed me, looked at the hat, and then he kissed me again. I vowed never to lose the pom-pom hat."

"If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.
"

"Huh," Leo said. "Well, if you ever get off this island and want a job, let me know. You're not a total klutz."She smirked. "A job, eh" Making things in your forge"Nah, we could start our own shop," Leo said, surprising himself. Starting a machine shop had always been one of his dreams, but he'd never told anyone about it. "Leo and Calypso's Garage: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters."

"My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism."

"Last night I was seriously considering whether I was a bisexual or not but I don’t think so though I’m not sure if I’d like to be and argh I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, if you like a person, you like the person, not their genitals."