Funny

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

"Um... Mercer? Haven't seen you in nearly a month. I was expecting something like, 'Oh Cross, love of my heart, fire of my loins, how I've longed--"

"I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back."

"You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt"

"Don't you think 'Mark is kind of a weird name for a Shadowhunter" Julian was saying as Emma approached. "I mean, if you really think about it. It's confusing. 'Put a Mark on me, Mark."

"Leo,” Hazel gasped, “I can’t—my arms—”“Hazel,” he said. “Do you trust me?”“No!”“Me neither,” Leo admitted."

"So it's true what they say about warlocks, then" true". "You can't be rude to everyone who talks to me."Alec made a wide, sweeping gesture. "And why not? Cramping your style, am I? I mean, maybe you were hoping to flirt with werewolf boy here. He's pretty attractive, if you like the messy-haired, broad-shouldered, chiseled-good-looks type."Hey, now," said Jordan mildly. Magnus put his head in his hands. into"Mermaids," said Magnus into his fingers. "They always smell like seaweed."," Alec said savagely, and kicking back his chair, he got up from the table and stalked off into the crowd."

"The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty."

"Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one."

"I didn't realize there was a ranking." I said. "Sadie frowned. "What do you mean" "A ranking," I said. "You know, what's crazier than what." "Oh, sure there is," Sadie said. She sat back in her chair. "First you have your generic depressives. They're a dime a dozen and usually pretty boring. Then you've got the bulimics and the anorexics. They're slightly more interesting, although usually they're just girls with nothing better to do. Then you start getting into the good stuff: the arsonists, the schizophrenics, the manic-depressives. You can never quite tell what those will do. And then you've got the junkies. They're completely tragic, because chances are they're just going to go right back on the stuff when they're out of here." "So junkies are at the top of the crazy chain," I said. Sadie shook her head. "Uh-uh," she said. "Suicides are." I looked at her. "Why" "Anyone can be crazy," she answered. "That's usually just because there's something screwed up in your wiring, you know? But suicide is a whole different thing. I mean, how much do you have to hate yourself to want to just wipe yourself out?"

"I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues."

"Oh, of course," said Ron, clapping a hand to his forehead. "I forgot we'll be hunting down Voldemort in a mobile library."

"Haven't you ever heard of the saying, "If you want to shoot the general, first shoot the horse!"' --Lin If you wanna shoot the general, then you should just SHOOT THE GENERAL!' --Ed"

"I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter," said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow."

"I have to return some videotapes"

"To answer your question, you want me because I'm made of awesome."

"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."

"You won't even take your bow? Are you planning to throttle a moose with your bare hands, then"I've a knife in my boot," she said, and then wondered, for a moment, if she could throttle a moose with her bare hands."

"I planted a kamikaze kiss on Jamie’s cheek.“FUCK,” he shouted, wiping it off. “What if you killed me!” He threw a Skittle at my face. It hit my forehead.“Ow!”“Taste the rainbow bitch."

"Are you a female dog"What" Massie asked. "Why?"