Funny

"Daemon pressed his forehead against mine. "Oh, I still want to strangle you. But I'm insane. You're crazy. Maybe that's why. We just make crazy together."

"Be what you would seem to be - or, if you'd like it put more simply - never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."

"Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking."

"But that quickly faded, and he frowned. "You're bleeding," he said. "What happened"Claire sighed and held up her wrist to show him the bandage. "Man, you would be so embarrassed if I said it was something else." Michael looked blank. "I'm a girl, Michael, it could have been all natural, you know. Tampons?"

"Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man, and our politicians take advantage of this prejudice by pretending to be even more stupid than nature made them."

"The moment the door opened I knew an ass-kicking was inevitable. Whether I'd be giving it or receiving it was still a bit of a mystery."

"She didn't care that people called her a bitch. 'It's just another word for feminist,' she told me with pride."

"Whoa, who peed in your Cheerios?"

"A real girl isn't perfect and a perfect girl isn't real."

"Your mail could've waited." Daemon followed me into the kitchen. "What is it? Just books"Grabbing the OJ from the fridge, I sighed. People who didn't heart books didn't understand."

"Scoot over, man. I don't like you that much." "Dick. That's not what you said last night."Bite me."

"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."

"I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days."

"How long have you been standing there"Just long enough to see you give Daemon the middle finger."He deserved it."

"Adrian, I'm on a date. Why are you here? On my car?"

"We were kissing. I thought: This is good. I thought: I am not bad at this kissing. Not bad at all. I thought: I am clearly the greatest kisser in the history of the universe. Suddenly she laughed and pulled away from me. She wiggled a hand out of her sleeping bag and wiped her face. "You slobbered on my nose," she said, and laughed"

"Other crack teams get bat boomerangs and wall-climbing powers we get Aquatruck."

"Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided."

"I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, do we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that."

"Want to play baseball?’” she asked. Shane’s eyes opened, and he stopped stroking her hair. “What?’” “First base,’” she said. “You’re already there.’” “I’m not running the bases.’” “Well, you could at least steal second.’” “Jeez, Claire. I used to distract myself with sports stats at times like these, but now you’ve gone and ruined it."