Funny

"You're right, my problems are the biggest problems ever," George said. "No, honestly, it's horrible to be me. I'm rich, talented, and I make girls cry."How do you make girls cry, exactly"George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forward, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, "My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence."

"I am who I say I am,I'm not some fantasyof how you think you think you knowor who I ought to be. I am a girl who is growing up in my own sweet time,I am a girl who knows enoughto know this life is mine. I am this and I am that and I am everything in-between. I'm a dreamer, I'm a dancer,I'm a part-time drama queen. I'm a worrier, I'm a warrior,I'm a loner and a friend,I'm an outspoken defenderof justice to the end. I'm the girl in the mirror who likes the girl she sees,I'm the girl in the gypsy shawlwith music in her knees. I'm a singer and a scholar,I'm a girl who has been kissed. I'm a solver of equationswearing bangles on my wrist. I am bigger than i ever knew,I am stronger than before,I am every girl I have ever been,and all that are in store. I am who I say I am. I'm not some fantasy. I am the me I am inside. I am who I choseto be."

"The music department is going to do a musical next year," he tells me, rolling his eyes like I would. Justine is running toward me, and I can tell by the look on her face that she's found out about the musical, too. I sigh, shaking my head. "I have to give Justine a lesson in holding back," I tell him. "She's just way too enthusiastic". She grabs my arms in excitement. "We're doing Les Mis."I scream hysterically, clutching her as we jump up and down."

"It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source."

"Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy?"

"If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you're a multitasker who loves the color yellow. Because not only do you get stuck with them combo gift, you get the combo song. "We wish you a merry Christmas - and happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas - happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Ye - Birthday, Terry!"

"Simon turned to Jordan, who was lying down across the futon, his head propped against one of the woven throw pillows. "How much of that did you hear"Enough to gather that we're going to a party tonight," said Jordan. "I heard about the Ironworks event. I'm not in the Garroway pack, so I wasn't invited."I guess you're coming as my date now." Simon shoved the phone back into his pocket. "I'm secure enough in my masculinity to accept that," said Jordan. "We'd better get you something nice to wear, though," he called as Simon headed back into his room. "I want you to look pretty."

"Real men don't lift weights, they lift women."

"Okay... My name is Ellie Mason and I have a feeling you don't like me." Kylie stopped and swerved around... "Okay, let's get something out in the open. I know you had sex with Derek." "Damn!" Perry said, and grinned. "This is gonna be better than I thought."

"Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me?"

"I can see clearly now, my brain is gone. Lucy"

"What do you think, Galen" Lady Fern asked in a sugary voice. Galen chewed slowly and painfully, swallowing tentatively. It's very unique," he said, trying to look intrigued instead of disgusted. "It's excellent."Lady Fern looked satisfied and turned to say something to her husband, while Galen added quietly under his breath, "...not."--The Fire Stone"

"You need anything we're only an hour away, give or take, honey. You call. We'll help you hide the body."

"When we met, you couldn't stop staring at my breasts."His face went pale, as if he seriously thought he was so subtle no one would notice. "Make sure you get an equally satisfactory look a my backside as you leave."

"He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes."He's always taking something - generally food."

"Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory."

"What was that" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple."

"I explained my opinion of the ship’s logic. “That is a strange designation,” said the ship. “While I have certain organic elements incorporated into my substructure and decentralized DNA computing components, I am not—in the strictest sense of the term—a biological organism. I have no digestive system. No need for elimination, other than the occasional waste gas and passenger effluvium. Therefore, I have no anus in either real or figurative terms. Therefore, I hardly believe I could qualify to be called an …” “Shut up,” I said."

"If you removed all the arteries, veins, & capillaries from a person’s body, and tied them end-to-end…the person will die."

"The world is full of unrequited love,' I said finally.'You and Patrick having problems' Dad said, reaching around to get the butter out of the fridge.'No, I was just wondering what you would say if I was a lesbian.''Come again' said Lester. 'I'm having a hard time following this conversation."