Funny

"Will suspected Jem was in fact cleverer than he was himself - but he lacked Will's tendency to assume the absolute worst about people and proceed from there."

"Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out!"

"Aunt Mercy put down her tiles, one at a time. I-T-C-H-I-N. Aunt Grace leaned closer to the board, squinting. "Mercy Lynne, you're cheatin' again! What kinda word is that? Use it in a sentence."I'm itchin' ta have some a that white cake."That's not how you spell it." At least one of them could spell. Aunt Grace pulled one of the tiles off the board. "There's no T in itchin'." Or not."

"Lucas: I wanted to talk to you after class, but you disappeared. Me: I have another class right after. One of those profs who stops talking, stares at you and waits until you get to your seat if you're late. Lucas: I would probably just walk to my seat even slower. ;)"

"So it's true what they say about warlocks,"

"How dare you open a spaceman's helmet on an uncharted planet? My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets!"

"Honestly, as much as I love my brother, I’m not sure how I feel about him hanging out in your bedroom.” He reached out with a muscular arm and used his fingers to brush a few strands of hair off my cheek, tucking them behind my ear. I shivered, and he smiled. “I feel like I need to mark my territory.” “Shut up.” “Oh, I love it when you get all bossy-pants. It’s sexy."

"If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American -- our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that."

"Jackass, jackass on the wall, where's the info on Hex Hall?"

"Hitler: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you just saved my life. The Doctor: Believe me... It was an accident."

"Simon whispered to me, “But is everything okay?”“No,” Tori said. “I kidnapped her and forced her to escape with me. I’ve been using her as a human shield against those guys with guns, and I was just about to strangle her and leave her body here to throw them off my trail. But then you showed up and foiled my evil plans. Lucky for you, though. You get to rescue poor little Chloe again and win her undying gratitude.”“Undying gratitude?” Simon looked at me. “Cool. Does that come with eternal servitude? If so, I like my eggs sunnyside up.”I smiled. “I’ll remember that.”***“Oh, right. You must be starving.” Simon reached into his pockets. “I can offer one bruised apple and one brown banana. Convenience stores aren’t the place to buy fruit, as I keep telling someone.”“Better than these. For you, anyway, Simon.” Derek passed a bar to Tori.“Because you aren’t supposed to have those, are you?” I said. “Which reminds me…” I took out the insulin. “Derek said it’s your backup.”“So my dark secret is out.”“I didn’t know it was a secret.”“Not really. Just not something I advertise.”...“Backup?” Tori said. “You mean he didn’t need that?”“Apparently not,” I murmured. Simon looked from her to me, confused, then understanding. “You guys thought…”“That if you didn’t get your medicine in the next twenty-four hours, you’d be dead?” I said. “Not exactly, but close. You know, the old ‘upping the ante with a fatal disease that needs medication’ twist. Apparently, it still works.”“Kind of a letdown, then, huh?”“No kidding. Here we were, expecting to find you minutes from death. Look at you, not even gasping.”“All right, then. Emergency medical situation, take two.”He leaped to his feet, staggered, keeled over, then lifted his head weakly.“Chloe? Is that you?” He coughed. “Do you have my insulin?”I placed it in his outstretched hand.“You saved my life,” he said. “How can I ever repay you?”“Undying servitude sounds good. I like my eggs scrambled.”He held up a piece of fruit. “Would you settle for a bruised apple?”I laughed."

"It just seems like overkill when you already have a dagger and I have superpowerful magic at my disposal.”“‘Superpowerful?’”He stood up, a gold chain dangling from his fingers. “Let me remind you of two words, Mercer: Bad. Dog."

"What I actually want to call you is a hell of a lot more unprintable than your name"

"Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned."

"What's that" he asked, when I stood beside him again."Halos," I said with a grin. "For heavenly creatures like us."That might be a stretch."

"I'm not leaving, Kitten. You're going to do this."My mouth opened as did the door behind us. Stomach dropping, I turned to see Mom standing there in all her fuzzy-bunny pajama glory. Oh, for the love of God."

"Of course you know, this means war."

"One thing I've learned about vampires--they keep pulling new rabbits out of their cloaks. Big, fanged, carnivorous bunnies that'll eat your eyeballs if you're not paying attention."

"If we're mad, we're mad in large numbers, at least larger than yours."

"Would you like me to grovel with gratitude for bringing me here, High Lord"Ah. The Suriel told you nothing important, did it"That smile of his sparked something bold in my chest. "He also said that you liked being brushed, and if I'm a clever girl, I might train you with treats."Tamlin tipped his head to the sky and roared with laughter. Despite myself, I let out a quiet laugh. "I might die of surprise," Lucien said behind me. "You made a joke, Feyre."I turned to look at him with a cool smile. "You don't want to know what the Suriel said about you." I flicked my brows up, and Lucien lifted his hands in defeat."I'd pay good money to hear what the Suriel thinks of Lucien," Tamlin said. A cork popped, followed by the sounds of Lucien chugging the bottle's contents and chuckling with a muttered, "Brushed."