Funny

"Sydney did not believe in life after death, but in her experience, admitting this could lead to long and complicated discussions in which people seemed to think that since she did not believe in God or the afterlife, there was nothing to stop her from becoming an ax murderer."

"We found it!" Charlotte yelled, as they ran back through the house. "We found it, we found it!"Eddie, Mr. Mallery, and Colonel Andrews came from separate directions, converging in the front hall. Miss Charming was hopping up and down, her bosom nearly rising to slap her own forehead."

"Bella,leave the aggressive stuff to me." My heart quirks in my chest. I may not like this guy but that sounded so hot. "Um..." Focus,focus. "What?"

"Rose's work of art took her all day, including two playtimes, story time, and most of lunch. At the end of school it was stolen from her by the wicked teacher who had pretended to be so interested."Beautiful- what-is-it" she asked as she pinned it high on the wall, where Rose could not reach."They take your pictures," said Indigo,... when he finally made out what all the roaring and stamping was about. "They do take them... Why do you want that picture so much" he asked Rose."It was my best ever," said Rose furiously. "I hate school. I hate everyone in it. I will kill them all when I'm big enough."You can't just go round killing people," Indigo told her..."

"Vampires have credit cards"We're undead, not Amish."

"I've knitted myself a hat, it's plum red with an appealing lace pattern, I figured that a few air holes would be nice now that it's spring. I put it on and feel like a cranberry in the snow, and I wonder if they can see me from the moon. Me and the Great Wall."

"Revel in grossness. Leave food in your teeth. Proudly display feminine hygiene products."

"I tore off another chuck of muffin and stared down at my chest. I shrugged and dabbed the muffin in the cum and popped it in my mouth. "I can't believe you just did that!" "Yeah," I snarled up my lip, "didn't quite think that one through all the way."

"This is where you all live" Asked John as they ascended the stairs. "It's small."This is just our Thanksgiving house," Scott muttered. "We have a house for every day of the year."

"She got icing all over her face. I think that's why I like her. For the good stuff, she's willing to get icing all over her face. Who wouldn't want a girl like that?"

"I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?"

"Dylan, while he is in the shower and he and Joss are only seperated by the curtain and his invisibility:Dylan: "Maybe if you would come in here and scrub my back it would speed things up."Joss: "I'm not invisible."Dylan: "I know this."

"Tradition or not, I sometimes thought putting children on an old guy’s lap was already creepy enough. We didn’t need to mix alcohol into it."

"Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me."

"Getting into a fight with a popular senior. Pissing off a school teacher and the local chief of police. Hanging with two major-league losers." She slapped my back. "Welcome to high school."

"To be unpopular, you must look the part. Remember four words: plastic flowered swim cap."

"One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern."

"You think that killing people will make them like you more, but it doesn't,it just makes them dead."

"Adamant," Doren said proudly, handing over the shield. "We fished it out of the tar pit where we found the shirt of mail."Probably all belonged to the same careless adventurer," Newel speculated. "Too much money, not enough talent."

"I never said nothing..."I know you never! I could hear you not saying anything! You've got the loudest silences I ever did hear from anyone who wasn't dead!"