Funny

"Leave your incidental Dick."

"Beside me, Philippe and Meg hold hands. He murmurs something that sounds like, "my dear leetle mongoose." I wish he'd turn back into a frog and hop away."

"Funny thing- Morgenstern's folk's were named Max and Valerie and his father was a doctor."

"I have a funny side. I have a soft and sympathetic side. I have a serious side, and a seriously romantic side. I have lots of sides; it's the main course I haven't quite figured out."

"What did you think of him" Cade asked."Give me some credit," Zach said. "Guy’s more full of shit than a duck pond."

"I am a vicious and unrepentant killer who should be locked up. With him, my idiot boyfriend."

"[He] carefully put a funky-looking pair of reading glasses on her. "There we go. How are they"She blinked experimentally, peering around the room. "Good, I think. Thank you."Wear them the next time we f***. That would be thanking me."Aww. You say the sweetest things."Don't I?"

"It will never belong in a Hallmark card, but I drove a car into a house and killed a man for you. You chained me up for days and I still wanted to come back and talk over our darkly sordid, slightly kinky, and a lot warped relationship. Face it, you're stuck with me."

"Zen cuts straight through the Quidditch match in progress and almost gets taken down by a Beater hurling a Nerf quaffle right at his machopartes."

"TO:rosencrantzpinchard@gmai.com: Something's wrong! The house is shaking!TO:rosencrantzpinchard@gmail.com: Well can you turn down the volume on Star Trek:Voyager? I thought we were having an earthquake when the Enterprise hit Warp speed. Why did you let me sleep until nearly one?"

"Bryan helped me up.  "How can you be so good one minute then clumsy the next"I shrugged.  "I've never been very athletic.  Not unless you count fencing."You made fences?"

"If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay."

"Mallory dropped her head to the steering wheel. "Look, I'm mad at you, okay? This isn't about me. I know my painful memories are relative. My life is good. I'm lucky. This isn't about how poor little Mallory has had it so hard. I'm not falling apart or anything."He stroked a hand down her back. "Of course you're not. You're just holding the steering wheel up with your head for a minute, that's all."

"I was one of those. I meddled with dark powers. Isummoned demons. I ate the entire little cheese, including the rind."

"The only activity a cynic will find contagious is yawning, that is, with other people, at other people."

"But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror's defeat."

"Attacking a provincial lord in his manor house, surrounded by guards... Honestly, Kell, I'd nearly forgotten how foolhardy you can be."Foolhardy" Kelsier asked with a laugh. "that wasn't foolhardy - that was just a small diversion. You should see some of the things I'm planning to do!Dockson stood for a moment then he laughed too. "By the Lord Ruler, it's good to have you back, kell! I'm afraid I've grown rather boring during the last few years"We'll fix that" Kelsier promised."

"Y’all might as well come on out,” I said. “I know you’re there. I can smell you.”“Smell me? But I just took a shower this morning!” an indignant voice drifted out of the shadows. There was a loud sound, like someone was getting smacked upside the head. Then another voice let out a low mutter.“Shut up, idiot."

"I claim neither liberalism nor conservatism - one tends to be airheaded while the other tends to be brickheaded."

"I held a nail in place and slammed it with the hammer. Best. Chore. Ever."