Funny

"Can I buy you an ice cream before I take you home? I feel like it’s the least I can do after scaring your shirt off."

"He will not let you come barging in to his world like the proverbial bull in the china shop."

"Best friends one, and now we have almost nothing to say to each other. It was interesting, how he had joined those guys and I just stayed on my own. I didn't like it or dislike it. It was just funny that things had turned out that way."

"I remember that story. You have read it four times." Samson shrugged. "Why should I stop with the first reading? Nobody says, 'That was a fine piece of music. I'll never listen to that again." But some people treat books that way. Not I!"

"Mother, you have my father much offended."

"Don't say anything. Just act cool," I whispered. Mavkel started to shiver."Like this" it asked."No, I mean act calm."Mavkel stopped shivering."

"Ish #303 "It's a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating."

"That's all right," she told him. "I can manage. I can sleep outside just fine."Four pairs of eyes looked at her with a distinctly male skepticism."

"Cara: *Flies*Gen: What? I don't have wings!Cara: Ofcourse not! You're a boy."

"Tighe took control of his thoughts.“You need to use the bathroom. When I tell you to, go into the house. Two cats will try to comein with you. You must let them in. Don’t allow anyone to stop them. Once inside the house, you’llgo into the bathroom and close the door, pull down your pants, then curl up on the floor and go tosleep.”The bastard’s career would be over when they caught him, literally, with his pants down. But hedeserved it for kicking a cat."

"This doesn't mean you're getting a discount."Audrey heaved a mock sigh. "Oh well. I guess I'll have to ply you with sexual favors, then."Gnome choked on the soup. "I'm old enough to be your grandfather!"Audrey winked at him, gathering the empty bags. "But you're not."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice."

"I love when I can reboot people when they are being mean to others..."

"So my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually entrust my heart to scientists—they'd probably implant it in a baboon. And a baboon with my heart would be practically unstoppable. Baboon strength and agility combined with my determination and media savvy? It would be a threat to all of humanity."

"At the door, Audrey called, "Are you coming"No, just breathing hard, love." He glanced at her and was rewarded by an outraged glare, followed by, "Oh, my God!"

"She tried to smile sympathetically, but with her face it wasn't quite possible."

"Bones just stared. "You're not a woman," he said finally. "You're the Grim Reaper with red hair!"

"I am too much alien and not enough monkey to fit in here."

"... an artist should paint from the heart, and not always what people expect. Predictability often leads to the dullest work, in my opinion, and we have been bored stiff long enough I think."

"...it’s just another one of those things I don’t understand: everyone impresses upon you how unique you are, encouraging you to cultivate your individuality while at the same time trying to squish you and everyone else into the same ridiculous mould. It’s an artist’s right to rebel against the world’s stupidity."