"Unicorns are not real, though we still dream about them! DREAM ON!"
3
"Live the message, don't just read about it and preach."
5
"He glared at Mr. Diddley’s yellow-toothed smile, and thought how he’d like to shove a toothbrush in his mouth and teach him how to use it."
4
"A friend comes over with a Ouija board. It spells out: Bourbon. Where’s the band?Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you can’t have fun."
4
"Sunday is always one of those days when you don’t feel bad that it has arrived."
3
"Day dreaming is actually research for the next book."
5
"...the only thing that could justify your continuing existence on the planet would be if you started breathing carbon dioxide and exhaling oxygen."
6
"Let's make it flashy!"
4
"We could call it Herbie. And when she reaches adolescence, and goes boy-crazy, we can say "Herbie Goes Bananas" to each other over and over again, as you build the doorless turret we can lock her in."(Caitlin Moran to her husband on what to call her daughter's vagina)=> :o))"
4
"Life is brighter on the lighter side."
4
"If I can't be remembered as one of the greatest authors, why not be remembered as the sexiest writer..."
5
"Who are they?” I whispered, as we took seats opposite each other. Scout glanced up as she pulled notebooks and books from her bag. “The dragon ladies. They monitor lights-out, watch us while we study, and generally make sure that nothing fun occurs on their watch.”“Awesome,” I said, flipping open my trig book. “I’m a fun hater myself."
3
"I Twitter (or Facebook) therefore I am"
4
"College is fun as long as you don't die."
4
"Everything is, the way it is, for a reason. Or it isn't. Or neither. Or both. It's so hard to tell. It's so hard to tell you're a mile away by the Luke in your eye."
4
"Thank goodness we don'y meet many people like [Miss Trunchbull] in this world, although they do exist and all of us are likely to come across at least one of them in a lifetime. If you ever do, you should behave as you would if you met an enraged rhinoceros out in the bush--climb up the nearest tree and stay there until it has gone away."
4
"The marketing people are always talking about something called 'consumers'. I have this image of a fat little man in baggy Bermuda shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, and a straw hat with beer-can openers dangling from it, clutching fistfuls of dollars."
4
"I stare at Hans. Hans is shaped like an industrial-sized refrigerator. His hands are like cinder blocks. He should not be afraid of a little thing like the ocean."
0
"Most people new to a city on the ocean would probably go to the beach during the day when there are people around. I, on the other hand, decided to try a midnight swim at the somewhat gamy Santa Monica pier, by myself. That is, until a nearby guard kicked me off the beach for my own safety."
0
"All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket."
0
✉️

Get more quotes like Humor's — every morning.

Join thousands of wisdom seekers getting daily quotes from 300,000+ curated sources.

Free forever. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.