Humor

"How long y' think it'll take t'git that wild streak out im"Well, Brother Tiggins, that'll depend on how long he can weather the leather."

"Dear Mrs. Black: On seven prior occasions this company has denied your claim in writing. We now deny it for the eighth and final time. You must be stupid, stupid stupid, stupid!"

"He looked at her defiantly, and she thought: and so one at a time we all become human—human werewolves, human dwarfs, human trolls …the melting pot melts in one direction only, and so we make progress."

"Two-thirds of all preachers, doctors and lawyers are hanging on to the coat tails of progress, shouting, whoa! while a good many of the rest are busy strewing banana peels along the line of march."

"It's not like the Middle Ages, when you had the Church and the aristocracy keeping everything nice and stagnant."

"What would have been the fate of sages if there were no fools?"

"All love is socioeconomic. It’s the gradients in status that make arousal possible."

"it was Greenspan who through some excessive deregulation prepared the monetary ground for the rise of the subprime mortgage companies: a lending market that specialises in high-risk mortgages and loans.'Innovation', said Greenspan in April 2005, 'has brought about a multitude of new products, such as subprime loans and niche credit programs for immigrants'. It is almost touching to find out that Greenspan cares so much about immigrants."

"There is an old saying, or should be, that it is a wise economist who recognizes the scope of his own generalizations."

"Relative poverty is when you have more taste than money."

"Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair."

"If you hear a "prominent" economist using the word 'equilibrium,' or 'normal distribution,' do not argue with him; just ignore him, or try to put a rat down his shirt."

"As a reformed procrastinator, I'm now getting things done in the first 10 seconds of the last minute."

"If you want to get a meaningful result: create something very complex, and then simplify it."

"A project goal like a joke. If you have to explain it, it is not good / fun."

"... There's an -or- in -whore- because you always have a choice to respect your body and say no."

"She believed being so free with her sexuality was empowering, but I wouldn't say taking home a douchebag who would laugh about the encounter with his friend later is a step forward in the feminist movement."-Lily"

"I remember the very day, sometime during the first two weeks of my five-year amorous sojourn in Brutland, when I was made privy to one of the most arcane of their utterings. The time was ripe for that major epiphany, my initiation into the sacred knowledge—or should I say gnosis?—of that all-important, quintessentially Brutish slang term, the word that endless hours of scholastic education by renowned mentors, plus years of scrupulous scrutiny into scrofulous texts, had disappointingly failed to impart to me, leaving me with that deep sense of emptiness begotten by hemimathy; the time was finally ripe for me to be transported by the velvety feel of the unvoiced palato-alveolar fricative, the élan of the unpronounceable and masochistically hedonistic front open-rounded vowel, and, last but not least, the (admittedly short) ejaculatory quality of the voiced velar stop: all three of them combined together to form that miraculous lexical item, the word shag."

"Did you wake him"If I say yes, will you spank me"Syn rolled his eyes. "You're horrible, Mari."

"Veeva squirmed up and down the length of me, vibrating like a coin operated motel bed. When she stopped kissing my mouth, I said, "It sounds so great, Veeva. Just you and me with our brand new plastic surgery noses, running for our lives, hating each other’s guts... Both of us getting to look more and more like Michael Jackson every day."