Humor

"He gave a wry smile. With all this vigilant vigils on virginity, you would think the country would have controlled its population by now."

"Even those fortunate ones among us who get sex right don’t necessarily feel compelled to talk about it. For all they know, everybody else is having the same experience. Sex being a naturally private act, we don’t share experiences with others the way we would about an especially good steakhouse."

"For the record, I do have genitals; and they are functional and aesthetically pleasing."

"We don’t ask when people age out of singing, or eating ice cream; why would we stop making love?"

"... Fate forced me to become a two-man woman. But there was no effing way I could be a four-man woman. Even metaphysics couldn't keep that from being whorey."

"Maybe he likes the look of Mae," Nick drawled."Don't be ridiculous."Nick raised his eyebrows. "Does he like the look of Jamie?"

"She looks like a very young old person, or a very old young person; but then, she's looked that way ever since she was two."

"You are old and grey,” she teased.“And you’re never too immortal for a spanking,” he shot back..."

"What is Time, O sister of similar features, that you speak of it so subserviently? Are we to be the slaves of the sun, that secondhand overrated knob of gilt, or of his sister, that fatuous circle of silver paper? A curse upon their ridiculous dictatorship!"

"Mamma says she is quite certain that "how old is too old" is not a question known to the Lord."

"I trust that age doth not wither nor custom stale my infinite variety."

"Old age is not just for grown up's"

"His age was indeterminate. But in cynicism and general world weariness, which is a sort of carbon dating of the personality, he was about seven thousand years old."

"You aren't really old until nothing is fun enough to make you forget the weather."

"Two or three years from now thirty won't look so senile."

"I might be old and ugly now, but you started that way, Jack."

"Never get old. It's a ridiculously uncomfortable process Ath Creator should be made to find a cure for."

"Though I should have known better, I had to ask. "What is furniture disease"She looked at me like I had the IQ of a grape. "It's when your chest falls into your drawers. Get ready for it, honey, because with that rack of yours, you'll be using them as knee pads before you know it."

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese"

"I'm forty-two," he said. "That's eighty-four in musician years."