Humor

"It is better to make an irrational noise in a bush than in a desert."

"Some women barter their bodies like whores with wedding bands. Some use sex like a sword. But some women can touch a man and heal like Jesus."

"The only difference between a prayer and a curse is the one who stands to profit."

"In the real world, in the grand scheme of life, this year is going to count for exactly nothing. These are the friendships that don't last and the choices that don't count. All those things we freak out about now, like who's going to be class president and are we going to win the game this weekend- there's going to be a time when we can't remember caring about them. In exactly three hundred and sixty five days from right now, wearing your letter jacket will make you look like the lamest of losers."

"I think happiness is a bit like a cake. If you have cake every single day of your life you'll get sick of it. If you're happy everyday, you'll get sick of being happy… That's a good saying actually. Happiness is like a cake. Have too much and you'll get sick of it."

"It's best to locate the mind first before launching the 'missiles of contention'."

"Some people remember the sixties better than others do. Some weren't even there, some who were there were not really there, and some who were not really there were "really there"."

"We go to school so that when we grow up we can make lots of money, and we make lots of money so we can provide for our children, and we have children to provide for our retirement (because we don’t have any money left)."

"The only working model of socialism I have ever seen is in an elementary school classroom."

"Intelligence is being intelligent enough to know you're not so intelligent as you intelligently once thought."

"Human misery must somewhere have a stop; there is no wind that always blows a storm; great good fortune comes to failure in the end. All is change; all yields its place and goes; to persevere, trusting in what hopes he has, is courage in a man. The coward despairs."

"A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else's box of matches"

"If you make a deal with a fool, don't be surprised when they act foolishly."

"You don't have to say a thing except yes. You don't have to do anything, either, I'm quite willing to plan it all." "You"Yes me."You'd plan all of it? Even the wedding"Why not"You don't even like to plan your own breakfast."He grinned. "You mean more to me tban bacon."More than [i]bacon?[/i] I'm honored."You should be, my foolish pea brain."

"Thinking back on the outing to the theatre, she added, ‘I want a man, not a preening peacock!"

"The arrogant man probably thought his path to heaven was already assured, and that he acted in accordance to God’s will just by breathing."

"Gideon could not imagine any other young unmarried woman of his acquaintance passing up the opportunity to snare, if not himself, then the Carradice fortune. In any case, the number of women who’d rejected him in any way was gratifyingly small. Yet Miss Prudence Merridew had most unmistakably rejected him. Several times. Wielding that damned lethal reticule like a little Amazon, to emphasize her point."

"Celeste rejoined him. "How you ladies do love a bargain," he said."You were listening!"I left before you shared the secrets of your undergarments." Jack looked sheepish. "That didn't sound quite how I intended."Celeste blushed. "You should not have mentioned it at all. A lady's undergarments are not a fit topic for a gentleman to discuss at a military dinner."Actually," he retorted, "you would be surprised at how often the subject comes up."

"What’s bosoms?” Cade asked.“You’ll find out when you get older,” Jake said."A lot older," Colt said."

"I steal from the rich to give to myself."