"You knocked the door down." Disbelief rang in his matter-of-fact tone. "I know," she answered,unable to say anything else. Unable to look away from his body."But it's solid oak."I know." She felt the solid oak beneath her and a little shocked that she'd done it, too. If it mattered at all, her shoulder felt a little bruised. And it was the slight pain that brought some reality back into the moment. "You don't have any clothes on." Oh, God, did she really say that?"
0
"Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something' Minho asked..."Go ahead," Newt replied. Minho nodded and faced the crowd. 'Be careful,' he said dryly. 'Don't die.'Thomas would have laughed if he could, but he was too scared for it to come out.'Great. We're all bloody inspired,' Newt answered."
1
"What do you think? Does this face make me look fat?"
1
"I love how you still think if you tell me to do something, I'll just check my brain at the door and do it."
1
"Raffin appeared again, a floor above her, on the balconied passageway that ran past his workrooms. He leaned over the railing and called down to her. "Kat!"What is it"You look lost . Have you forgotten the way to your rooms"I'm stalling."How long will you be? I'd like to show you a couple of my new discoveries."I've been told to make myself pretty for dinner."He grinned. "Well in that case, you'll be ages."His face dissolved into laughter, and she tore a button from one of her bags an hurled it at him. He squealed and dropped to the floor, and the button hit the wall right where he'd been standing. When he peeked back over the railing, she stood in the courtyard with her hands on her hips, grinning. "I missed on purpose," she said."Show off! Come if you have time." He waved, and turned into his rooms."
1
"The shortest horror story:The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door."
0
"Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?"
1
"St. Clair gets a crush on Anna. He's torn between her and Ellie, and he spends so much time running between them that he hardly has time left for Josh. And the more time that Josh spends alone, the more he realizes how alone he actually is. All of his friends will be gone the next year. Josh grows increasingly antagonistic toward school, which makes Rashmi increasingly antagonistic toward him, which makes him increasingly antagonistic toward her. And she's upset because Elie dropped her as a friend, and Meredith is upset because now St. Clair likes two girls who aren't her, and Anna is upset because St. Clair is leading her on, and then St. Clair's mom gets cancer. It's a freaking soap opera."
2
"When I was growing up we didn't have a massive house and there were five women running around, so my dad and I had to stick together!"
0
"Anthony Bridgerton leaned back in his leather chair,and then announced, "I'm thinking about getting married."Benedict Bridgerton, who had been indulging in a habit his mother detested—tipping his chair drunkenly on the back two legs—fell over. Colin Bridgerton started to choke. Luckily for Colin, Benedict regained his seat with enough time to smack him soundly on the back, sending a green olive sailing across the table. It narrowly missed Anthony's ear."
1
"I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?"
0
"I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?"
0
"Too bad. Family members hit you by accident. Psychopathic whores tend to come back for more."
0
"The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is...42!"
0
"A pause followed my greeting. Then “We’re watching you ” whispered the voice on the other end.“Yeah? Did you see what I did with my keys? ”Silence. Then dial tone. These younger demons. So easily discouraged."
1
"I must have killed a lot of cows in a past life for Karma to hate me this much."
2
"Apparently the complete works of Shakespeare packed quite a wallop. To think, my mother said I'd never find use for an English degree. Ha! I'd like to see her knock someone silly with an apron and a cookie press."
1
"You're very welcome," she said, giving my hair a hard tug. "You should be used to being gawked at by now."And yet I'm not."Well, if it gets too bad, give me a signal, and I'll get up on the banquet table, toss my skirt over my head, and do a little dance. That way no one will be looking at you."
1
"I'm a little bit naked, but that's okay."
0
"Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. “Hey, Dark Princess? Here’s your crap. Also, bite me."
1
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