Funny

"Who are you and how did you get in here" "I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith."

"And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours."

"She was hearing the words. They just weren't registering on her Richter scale of sanity."

"I also don't trust Caribou anymore. They're out there, on the tundra, waiting... Something's going down. I'm right about this."

"All right I think we've been down here in the dark long enough. There's a whole other world upstairs. Take my hand, Constant Reader, and I'll be happy to lead you back into the sunshine. I'm happy to go there because I believe most people are essentially good. I know that I am. It's you I'm not entirely sure of."

"I’m busy, you’re busy, everybody’s busy. I’ve got a lot I want to say to you, though.” “All right,” Pia told her. “Hit me with it.” “First, I’m so sorry about what my uncle Urien did to you guys. I hate him, he killed my family, and we’re going to cut off his head, and then I have to be Queen, but before that happens let’s do lunch, okay?"

"No,” Shane said. “I’m not leaving you two here alone. We stick together.”“I’m still not kissing you,” Michael said.“Tease."

"Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies."

"CPR dummy looked like him and had clearly been stabbed. Repeatedly. In the groin. He thought she might have used the dummy for target practice, and tried not to be offended. Key word: tried."

"You’re far too prickly tempered to be a mistress. You’re far better suited as a wife."

"He watched in awe as she stacked up an enormous armload of music. "There," she finished, slapping Frank Zappa's Greatest Hits on top of the pile. "That should do for a start." "You are a music lover," said the wide-eyed cashier. "No, I'm a kleptomaniac." And she dashed out the door. He was so utterly shocked that it took him a moment to run after her. With a meaningful nod in the direction of the astounded Cahills, she barreled down the cobblestone street with her load. "Fermati!" shouted the cashier, scrambling in breathless pursuit. Nellie let a few CDs drop and watched with satisfaction over her shoulder as the clerk stopped to pick them up. The trick would be to keep the chase going just long enough for Amy and Dan to search Disco Volante. Yikes, she reflected suddenly, I'm starting to think like a Cahill... And if she was nuts enough to hang around this family, it was only going to get worse."

"Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy!"

"Always drink upstream from the herd."

"He thinks things through too much."

"Caroline, do you value your neck"Yes, I'm rather fond of it. Why"Because if you don't shut up, I'm going to wring it."

"In this world only the paranoid survive."

"Boy, you knock on the devil's door and he will head slam you through the wall."

"Would you have done that in his place? Would you have left him and gone on"Of course I would!" Halt replied immediately. But something in his voice rang false and Horse looked at him, raising one eyebrow. He'd waited a long time for an opportunity to use that expression of disbelief on Halt. After a pause, the Ranger's anger subsided."All right. Perhaps I wouldn't," he admitted. Then he glared at Horace. "And stop raising that eyebrow on me. You can't even do it properly. Your other eyebrow moves with it!"

"And she says, “Then let’s just take the effing road and get ourselves to Hav"

"Did I ever tell you the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern one" she asked him, indulging herself and letting her head rest on his shoulder. God, he felt good. Her man. Where her head was meant to lie, right there, on him. "What's the difference"A Northern one starts 'once upon a time,' while a Southern one starts 'y'all ain't going to believe this shit."