“My dad goes through war novels like I go through boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.”

“Growing up, I was discouraged from telling personal stories. My dad often used the phrase 'Don't tell anyone.' But not about creep...”

“My first car was, as depicted in 'Sleepwalk with Me,' my mother's '92 Volvo station wagon that had 80,000 miles on it, and I had p...”

“It sounds so nerdy and pathetic, but what I always do on Sunday afternoon is bring my inbox down to zero, which is so sad. But e-m...”

“Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?' And I just wanted to say, '...”

“I've actually always wanted to write like a one-person show that was sort of a romantic comedy - a show that was kind of cynical a...”

“I'm excited about what the future will bring and I think the best is yet to come.”

“I think the future takes care of itself.”

“But I dare not think too far into the future on the risk that I'll miss the present.”

“I think that we're living in a time where there are trillion-dollar opportunities that never existed before.”

“I'm a big laser believer - I really think they are the wave of the future.”

“I had been feeling a little rum. I didn't think it was anything serious because years ago I felt a lump and it was benign. I assum...”