"(...) perfectly ordinary books, printed on commonplace paper in mundane ink. It would be a mistake to think that they weren't also dangerous, just because reading them didn't make fireworks go off in the sky. Reading them sometimes did the more dangerous trick of making fireworks go off in the privacy of the reader's brain."
1
"I hate to read books but a friend said he read the dictionary and that the Zebra did it."
2
"At the departure gate, a drunken airport security woman was handing out box cutters to the passengers."
1
"It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late"
0
"My mind ran over everything that had happened lately, and running on such thoughts made even my feet hurt."
0
"And then there's the perverse joy of subtly working in references to marathon training in daily life, say at the post office or while waiting outside my first-graders' classrooms at the end of the school day."
1
"I wasn't particularly worried; running is overrated anyway, and sport only makes you sweaty and smug and wears out the knees."
0
"A typical race morning usually starts out looking like a scene from a zombie movie: individuals or pairs of people walking down a deserted street, all headed in the same direction... Inevitably, regardless of the weather, U2's "Beautiful Day" streams out of loudspeakers."
1
"Even though I can’t tell others whether they should chase their marathon dreams, I highly recommend they do something completely out of character, something they never in a million years thought they’d do, something they may fail miserably at. Because sometimes the places where you end up finding your true self are the places you never thought to look. That, and I don’t want to be the only one who sucks at something."
0
"Frank, I ran into Gladys and Billy at the store yesterday. Do you know what he said to me"The girls went very quiet. Frank didn't look up."Hello" he asked, and kept rubbing Henry's knife. Dotty hit him with her rag. "He said that. And so did she. But the important part was when he said, 'Frank ever get that door open' Do you know what I said? What I said was--Are you ready for this? I said, 'No,'"Ah" Frank said. He lifted Henry's knife up to his mouth and dabbed the blade with his tongue. "That's my honest wife. I appreciate you lookin' out for my dignity."
2
"I'm not obliged to defend your dignity. Provided you have any."
0
"I'd seriously contemplated a real collar - a sparkly green one - if only because I was sure it would offend his dignity."
1
"When you meet familiarity which demeans true integrity, run away!"
3
"all fiction is better with explosions' said Jared. 'Basic fact of life."
1
"The most isolated inhabited island in the world is Tristan da Cunha, an active volcano located in the middle of the south Atlantic Ocean 1,242 miles (2,000 kilometers) from the nearest land. Tristan da Cunha is Portuguese for “Where the fuck are we?!"
0
"The Japanese island of Okunoshima, also called “Rabbit Island” after the many furry inhabitants who live there, was once home to Japan’s poison gas factories. The rabbits are descendants of ones used for chemical testing during World War II."
3
"In the Middle Ages, bloodletting was often performed by barbers, which is why the traditional barber’s pole—like the bloody towels that once hung outside barber shops—is colored red and white."
1
"When it comes to scary business, I believe that forewarned is forearmed."
0
"The Kerguelen Islands in the southern Indian Ocean are a six-day boat ride from Madagascar, and their only inhabitants are French scientists."
1
"Turns out all it takes to bring enemies to peace is a bigger enemy."
2
✉️

Get more quotes like Humor's — every morning.

Join thousands of wisdom seekers getting daily quotes from 300,000+ curated sources.

Free forever. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.