Humor

"Blood rushed to the regions of my body that I associated with naughtiness, and I was powerless to stop it."

"I watched a lot of You Tube videos of cute geeky girls playing '80s cover tunes on ukuleles. Technically, this wasn't part of my research, but I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend."

"Well enough,” I reply. “Remember, you’re drunk. And happy. You’re supposed to be lusting over your escort. Try smiling a little mo"

"Miss Fitt, you know curiosity gets men killed."I grinned. "Then I daresay it's good I'm a woman."

"Ten minutes later, I chance a second look. They say curiosity killed the cat. I wonder what that cat was looking at, and was it as interesting as this?"

"Mermon's tiny black dot eyes managed to widen into larger black dots. "No, no, no, Sir. I was just... curious." "Curiosity is a good thing, like onion soup. But too much onion soup makes you breath smell terrible. and too much curiosity can make your whole body smell terrible, if it causes you to be dead." Veenie nodded carefully; it was a strange threat, but a threat nonetheless."

"No time better than the present,’ I always say. Or was that, ‘Nothing is better than a present’? I forget."

"Live in the present. Don't think about things that aren't happening. Definitely don't think about eating cheeseburgers when you're not eating cheeseburgers. First of all, it's not happening. Second of all, it'll just make you hungry."

"Here, I stole it for you. Why don’t you tell me what it’s for.”“Aw, Sophronia, how thoughtful. You brought me a present!"

"Stay on my six, he said, nuzzling the hair at her ear and breathing deeply the sweet scent of her. You remember what that is, right?It's your ass."

"You have a very attractive revenge streak in you. I like it. A lot.” ~Maggie Mae Castro to FBI Special Agent Clive Poole"

"Really? Assaulting an officer? That’s a new one for you.” ~ FBI Special Agent Clive Poole to Maggie Mae Castro"

"Great. This girl was going to seriously mess with my ability to stay on parole. ~Maggie Mae Castro"

"What exactly does the I in FBI stand for?” ~Maggie Mae Castro"

"If I’m going down, I’m going down with lipstick on.” ~Maggie Mae Castro"

"But one look at Wildcard's face, and he knew there was trouble. Problem? he signaled. Wildcard responded with an obscene gesture that more than conveyed his opinion that not only was this a problem, but it was a big problem..."Okay". That was not anywhere near the complete reaming Muldoon imagined "We'll take a different route down."We could", Wildcard agreed. "But they've got a prisoner.."Oh man, that hurt. Dream op to nightmare... Muldoon gritted his teeth and considered his options."Holy fuck", Wildcard said. "When I tell you that a stupid ass French photog is going to turn this perfect op into a total clusterfuck, what you say sir, is 'Oh, holy fuck'. If this isn't the time to use your full adult vocabulary, Lieutenant, I honestly don't know what is"."

"You don't have to be religious to hear God, you just have to be willing, and there's a big difference between the two."

"She swore she'd never turn into her P. I. father...but that was before she ran over the body."

"Lucy woke with the munchies the night the kidnappers came for her."

"Never run after a man or a bus, there's always another one in five minutes."