Humor

"I had a dream that I was in someone else’s shoes for once…they were the wrong size." "حلمتُ أنني كنتُ في مكان شخص آخر لمرة واحدة... وكانت الأحذية مقاسًا خاطئًا."

"On some days, writing is wonderful. On the days when it is wonderful, it feels like you are the God of a universe that the rest of the world is not yet privy to. And then on some days, it is not wonderful; those days when nothing is coming and the cursor seems to be openly mocking you, blinking out ‘YOU SUCK AT WRITING AND YOU’RE UGLY AS BALLS’ in Morse code." "في بعض الأيام، تكون الكتابة رائعة. وفي الأيام التي تكون فيها رائعة، تشعر وكأنك إله كون لم يطلع عليه بقية العالم بعد. ثم في بعض الأيام، لا تكون رائعة؛ تلك الأيام التي لا يأتي فيها شيء، ويبدو المؤشر وكأنه يسخر منك علانية، يومض "أنت فاشل في الكتابة وقبيح للغاية" بشفرة مورس."

"Writing is like making love, editing is like giving your great grandfather a sponge bath." "الكتابة كصنع الحب، أما التحرير فكأنك تحمم جد جدك بليفة."

"It was a dark and stormy night. . .perfect for staying indoors and writing a novel!" "كانت ليلة مظلمة وعاصفة... مثالية للبقاء في الداخل وكتابة رواية!"

"When in doubt, go the scandalous route." "عند الشك، اسلك الدرب الفاضح."

"Writers don't kill characters. Characters kill characters." "لا يُنهي الكُتّابُ حياةَ الشخصياتِ، بل الشخصياتُ هي من تُنهي حياةَ بعضها."

"To air one's views gratuitously, however, is to imply that the demand for them is brisk, which may not be the case, and which, in any event, may not be relevant to the discussion." "إن إبداء المرء لآرائه مجانًا، مع ذلك، يعني ضمنًا أن الطلب عليها شديد، وهو ما قد لا يكون صحيحًا، وقد لا يكون ذا صلة بالنقاش على أي حال."

"I had found by experience that putting things down on paper helped to clear the mind in precisely the same way, as Mrs. Mullet had taught me, that an eggshell clarifies the consommé or the coffee, which, of course, is a simple matter of chemistry. The albumin contained in the eggshell has the property of collecting and binding the rubbish that floats in the dark liquid, which can then be removed and discarded in a single reeking clot: a perfect description of the writing process." "لقد وجدتُ بالتجربة أن تدوين الأشياء على الورق يساعد على تصفية الذهن بنفس الطريقة تمامًا التي علمتني إياها السيدة ماليت، وهي أن قشر البيض يروّق المرق الصافي أو القهوة، وهذا، بالطبع، مجرد مسألة كيميائية بسيطة. فالزلال الموجود في قشر البيض يمتلك خاصية تجميع وربط الشوائب التي تطفو في السائل الداكن، والتي يمكن بعد ذلك إزالتها والتخلص منها في كتلة واحدة نتنة: وهذا وصف مثالي لعملية الكتابة."

"Don’t think about it. Don’t think about what could have been. It’s too unbearable." "لا تفكر في الأمر. لا تفكر فيما كان يمكن أن يكون. إنه لا يُطاق."

"I was looped in on your little romantic quest. The only way to get me out without it looking suspicious was to suggest that I come after you dumb asses, since I supposedly know your crappy personality so well."

"If she's not alright, I'm going to rip out his heart and eat it." I nodded. "You really shouldn't eat raw meat," Chubs said."

"The therapist, he thought, and it bothered him a lot more than it should have. After all, he had nothing permanent with Sophie. He just needed to touch her on a semiregular basis or he couldn't finish his sentences."

"I spent hours yesterday talking of little but medical symptoms and insane asylums. And you listened as though it were poetry and all but swooned at my feet. It is too bad I don't have any medical treatises about. I'm sure I need read a paragraph or two, and you will become ravenous with lust and begin tearing my clothes off. (Dorian from "The Mad Earl's Bride")"

". . . I still wouldn't be able to control myself around him, and I'm math geek enough to know that equation doesn't work out."

"When they reached the stairs, he didn’t make her climb them herself. He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the big bathroom off their bedroom. He didn’t speak, his expression didn’t soften. But he was hard. His cock was like a poker, steely and hot against her hip. His eyes blazed with lust."

"Douglas’s fridge was a stainless-steel masterpiece. I’m not that into appliances or anything, but this one was nice and probably cost more than my last apartment. I had the strange desire to hug it every time I came into the kitchen."

"A loud, purposeful knock on the front door froze him in place with his fist over the fabric. “Hey, dude, it’s me. I brought you all four Bloodsport movies. Open up!” Jason’s voice filtered past the front door, and he and Violet flew apart like teenagers at a party raid. No way. This wasn’t happening. He had not just gotten cock-blocked by his best friend and partner, AKA the only living relative of the woman he’d very nearly stripped naked in his front hallway."

"I wanted desperately to get all hot and sweaty with this guy, but I knew from experience that hormones affected my sensibilities like alcohol or pot. In the throes of passion I tend to vow my eternal love to a penis I might use and abuse, with little regard for the man connected to it. I'm trying to keep that habit."

"Amazing how a confluence of praise and lust can just make your defensive barriers collapse like Jell-O on a hot stove"

"Piper’s lust was like a single bear trap in the wilderness. It was nearly impossible to find if you were looking for it, but it was something you wanted to be prepared for if you stepped into it by accident."