Funny

"A good story should provoke discussion, debate, argument...and the occasional bar fight."

"Rule number four for me as a writer? Plotlines are like sharks: They either keep moving or they die. ~J. R. Ward"

"I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed."

"The recipe for great art has always been misery and a good bowel movement."

"Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing."

"The funny thing about writing is that whether you're doing well or doing it poorly, it looks the exact same. That's actually one of the main ways that writing is different from ballet dancing."

"By morning, Adelaide was beginning to understand why she'd never completely understood how God worked. Given that He had made the bewildering, maddening, incomprehensible species that was man from His own image, it stood to reason that the Creator would be a complicated mass of logic never meant to be understood by the female mind. That, or the fall of man in the Garden of Eden had taken them even further off the path than she'd ever realized"

"I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby."

"Rejection is an opportunity for your selection."

"Poetry destroyed? Genius banished? No! Mediocrity, no: do not let envy prompt you to the thought. No; they not only live, but reign, and redeem: and without their divine influence spread everywhere, you would be in hell--the hell of your own meanness."

"Love is as we will it to be." ~ Amunhotep El Bey"

"Crystal ball and candle light, I want your dance tonight. Show me the power of love as we stand together in the middle of the night."

"Oh! That was poetry!" said Pippin. "Do you really mean to start before the break of day?"

"Otter! Otter! Otter!Don’t lead cows to slaughter!I love you, and I know I should’ve told you soon-a But you didn’t buy the dolphin-safe tuna!"

"sometimes when everything seems atits worstwhen all conspiresand gnawsand the hours, days, weeksyearsseem wasted – stretched there upon my bedin the darklooking upward at the ceilingi get what many will consider anobnoxious thought:it’s still nice to be Bukowski."

"I’m not aspiring to be someone else – If I’m me for the rest of my life then so be it"

"..."vers libre," (free verse) or nine-tenths of it, is not a new metre any more than sleeping in a ditch is a new school of architecture."

"Keep trying?I'd rather keep walking. I mean, whisky is whisky"

"Keep your heads up! We are sinking!"

"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."