Funny

"Theatres are curious places, magician's trick-boxes where the golden memories of dramtic triumphs linger like nostalgic ghosts, and where the unexplainable, the fantastic, the tragic, the comic and the absurd are routine occurences on and off the stage. Murders, mayhem, politcal intrigue, lucrative business, secret assignations, and of course, dinner."

"You there, you look like a well-rounded lady, oh yes, and I mean well-rounded"

"Are you coming back to campus or you sticking around here with the prick?"

"Oh, this is the most TRAGICAL thing that ever happened to me!"

"I used to have Santa and the whole coal thing, but between Wade and their father, the little shits get whatever they want. They no longer feel like they need the fat bastard!"

"Count yourself fortunate." He made an elegant sweep of his hand toward the sun. "Daylight does not make them turn to ash, but they become bloody damn infants, whinging on about irritated eyes and sluggish limbs and so forth."

"I really hate it when people want to kill me. It makes me think they don't want to be friends. - Raven from Blood of Prey"

"I would never say snog. I would say osculate.” She looks at me as if to say: why do you exist?"

"Are you wearing space pants" Miranda asked him."What"How did it end? oh, right. "Because your butt is fine."He gazed at her in that way he had like he was measuring her for straitjacket. "I think-" he started, then stopped and seemed to be having trouble talking. Cleared his throat three times before saying, "I think the line is 'because your butt is out of this world."Oh. That makes a lot more sense. I can see that. See, I read this book about how to get guys to like you and they said it was a line that never failed but i got interrupted in the middle and the line before it was about china-not the country, the kind you eat off of-and that is where the fine part was but i must have gotten them confused. He just kept staring at her."

"Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg!"

"This is no time for drinking a mug of water - which you would do nowhere else in the world. A mug of water! You just don't drink water from mugs, do ya? Except on the telly. Water out of a mug! Should be a hot drink... mug of water."

"Tim and Raine are coming in."Are they insane"Apparently."

"Hey, he's not using a holster," I said, glancing at Alex's on the dresser. He laughed out loud. "Yeah, I guess he must want something shooting off. It'd be so great if these things were true to life - the next scene would show him at hospital like, clutching himself in agony."'Angel - L. A. Weatherly"

"You'll see. I have a collection of fine waistcoats and a handsome face." He stepped back to let her take in the full effect of both and her smile spread to the edge of a laugh."

"Sexton: I think the whole world's gone mad. Death: Uh-uh. It's always like this. You probably just don't get out enough."

"Inconvenience in progress, work is regretted."

"Although initially only few in numbers, it seems my gray hairs have launched an effective peer-pressure campaign intended to convert the others."

"Is he following? Can you have a flaming gay moment or something and check"Why do I have to be the flaming gay one?"

"You talk more when you're nervous," he said, still standing close to her."No i don't. That's absurd. I'm just trying to explain to you-"Do i make you nervous"No. I'm not nervous."You're trembling."I'm cold. I'm wearing practically zero clothes."His glance went to her lips, then back to her eyes. "I noticed."

"Most animals show themselves sparingly. The grizzly bear is six to eight hundred pounds of smugness. It has no need to hide. If it were a person, it would laugh loudly in quiet restaurants, boastfully wear the wrong clothes for special occasions, and probably play hockey."