Bill Maher
"New Rule: You can't force the ATM to do something it doesn't want to do. Excuse me, lady in front of me at the Citibank ATM, but you've been standing there punching buttons for ten minutes--what are you trying to do, write a novel on it? You hear those beeping noises? That's the ATM saying, Stop it, you're hurting me. A chicken would have gotten forty bucks out of that thing by now just by pecking the buttons randomly."
53 Quotes
"New Rule: You can't force the ATM to do something it doesn't want to do. Excuse me, lady in front of me at the Citibank ATM, but you've been standing there punching buttons for ten minutes--what are you trying to do, write a novel on it? You hear those beeping noises? That's the ATM saying, Stop it, you're hurting me. A chicken would have gotten forty bucks out of that thing by now just by pecking the buttons randomly."
"تعديل جديد: لا يمكنك إجبار الصراف الآلي على فعل ما لا يرغب فيه. معذرةً، أيتها السيدة الواقفة أمامي عند صراف سيتي بنك، لكنك تقفين هناك تضغطين الأزرار منذ عشر دقائق—ماذا تحاولين أن تفعلي، هل تكتبين رواية عليه؟ أتسمعين تلك الأصوات المتكررة؟ هذا هو الصراف الآلي يقول: توقفي، إنك تؤذينني. لدجاجةٌ كانت ستحصل على أربعين دولاراً من ذلك الجهاز الآن بمجرد نقر الأزرار عشوائياً."
Bill Maher
The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass
"Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease."
"كل ما كان خطيئة غدا داءً."
Bill Maher
"Men are only as loyal as their options."
"الرجال أوفياء بقدر ما تتيح لهم خياراتهم."
Bill Maher
"I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?"
"أرى أن الوطنية الحقة تكمن في نقد بلادي. فكيف لنا أن نرتقي بوطن إلا بتسليط الضوء على عيوبه؟"
Bill Maher
"To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that."
"بالنسبة لي، الوطني الحقيقي كالصديق الصدوق. فمن هو صديقك الصدوق؟ إنه من يصارحك بالحقيقة. هؤلاء هم أصدقائي الحقيقيون. لذا، أعتقد أن وطننا بحاجة ماسة إلى المزيد من أمثال هؤلاء."
Bill Maher
"If you think you have it tough, read history books."
"إن ظننت أنك في شدة، فاقرأ صفحات التاريخ."
Bill Maher
"What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country."
"ما يفعله نواب الحزب الديمقراطي بموظفات"
Bill Maher
"Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable."
"الحرية ليست مجانية. لا ينبغي أن يكون الابتعاد عن السياسة مدعاة للفخر، وكأن ذلك يمنح المرء نقاءً. لا، بل إن ذلك يجعلك متقاعسًا عن واجبك في الجمهورية. سيجد المخادعون والمتزلفون في الحكومة صعوبة بالغة لو لم يصر الكثير من الناس على حقهم في التمسك بالجهل والإذعان الأعمى."
Bill Maher
"Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need."
"الدين، في نظري، بيروقراطية بين الإنسان وربه لا أحتاج إليها."
Bill Maher
"I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder."
"أعتقد أن تحليق الطائرات في مبنى كان مبادرة قائمة على الإيمان. وأرى أن الدين اضطراب عصبي."
Bill Maher
"If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest."
"لو كنت تنتمي إلى حزب سياسي أو نادٍ اجتماعي يت"
Bill Maher
"Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do."
"الدين خطير لأنه يمنح البشر الذين لا يملكون كل الإجابات وهم امتلاكها."
Bill Maher
"We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies."
"إننا أمة لم تستنر بسبب الدين، وإني لأعتقد ذلك"
Bill Maher
"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?"
"قال البيت الأبيض اليوم إنهم سيبدأون بتقديم إحاطات حول الأمن القومي والاستخبارات لجورج بوش. لا أعلم مدى نجاح هذا الأمر. فبعد الإحاطة الأولى اليوم، قال بوش: "لدي سؤال واحد: ما لون الهاتف الأحمر؟"
Bill Maher
"Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit."
"الانتحار هو طريقة الإنسان ليقول لله: "لا يمكنك طردي، لقد استقلت."
Bill Maher
"NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new study has shown that half of American high schools agree that newspapers should only be able to publish government-approved material. Almost one out of five said people should not be allowed to voice unpopular opinions.. This is the first generation after September 11th, who discovered news during a 'watch what you say' administration... George W. Bush once asked, 'is our children learning.' No, they isn't. A better question would be, 'is our teacher's teaching?"
Bill Maher
"If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it "proactive intelligence screening" or "high alert detecting", people would be saying "Well, it's about time"."
Bill Maher
"“Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.”"
Bill Maher
"You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery."
Bill Maher
"That's not water. That's socialism juice. We should bomb Lake Erie."
Bill Maher
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