Bill Maher

Bill Maher

"We're all gonna be gay if we get health care!"
53 Quotes
"We're all gonna be gay if we get health care!"
Bill Maher
"If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod."
Bill Maher
"It is not a surprise that a person would want to be a prophet. What's ridiculous is that other people let him."
Bill Maher
"This is the opposite of the free market."
Bill Maher
"Do not fuck with gun nuts because they are nuts about their guns."
Bill Maher
"Every day in America is a day with a shooting."
Bill Maher
"Fascism is when corporations become the government."
Bill Maher
"I'm not a Christian, but I have read his book."
Bill Maher
"I don't want to say Monsanto is evil right off the bat, but why is Monsanto so evil?"
Bill Maher
"Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit!"
Bill Maher
"Jesus is great -- is there a better role model? No. It's religion, it's the people who get in between -- the bureaucracy, you know. ... It's the way people abuse Jesus. Was there ever a greater victim of name dropping?"
Bill Maher
"If a fourteen year-old can deliver your message, it's not because he's gifted. It's because intellectually, you're a child."
Bill Maher
"To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity."
Bill Maher
"First of all understand that I get it. That there are millions and millions of women who are steely eyed realists. And millions and millions of men who are anything but. However. For lack of a better term I would say that the feminine values are the values of america :Sensitivity is more important than Truth. Feeling are more important than Facts. Commitment is more important than Individuality. Children are more important than People. Safety is more important than Fun. I always hear women say 'Y'know married men live longer'. Yes. And an indoor cat also, lives longer."
Bill Maher
"First of all understand that I get it. That there are millions and millions of women who are steely eyed realists. And millions and millions of men who are anything but. However. For lack of a better term I would say that the feminine values are the values of america :Sensitivity is more important than Truth. Feelings are more important than Facts. Commitment is more important than Individuality. Children are more important than People. Safety is more important than Fun. I always hear women say 'Y'know married men live longer'. Yes. And an indoor cat also, lives longer."
Bill Maher
"I'm always amazed at the human capacity to not make fundamental changes, but instead merely adapt. I see these pictures of people in Beijing and New Delhi, walking around with masks on, because you can't walk outside your house and breathe? If you can't breathe?…If that's not the cue to make a fundamental change, I don't know what is!"
Bill Maher
"Kadafi is a zombie in a pillbox hat, that's what he is!"
Bill Maher
"Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I’ll be damned if Rick Perry didn’t take me up on that."
Bill Maher
"New Rule: Stop asking Miss USA contestants if they believe in evolution. It’s not their field. It’s like asking Stephen Hawking if he believes in hair scrunchies. Here’s what they know about: spray tans, fake boobs and baton twirling. Here’s what they don’t know about: everything else. If I cared about the uninformed opinions of some ditsy beauty queen, I’d join the Tea Party."
Bill Maher
"We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels & free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep & conformists."
Bill Maher
✉️

Get more quotes like Bill Maher's — every morning.

Join thousands of wisdom seekers getting daily quotes from 300,000+ curated sources.

Free forever. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.