Bill Maher

"The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people."

"Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream?"

"Don't get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance."

"You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash."

"The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of"

"To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'."

"Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?"

"Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them."

"I don't ridicule religion, it ridicules itself."

"The Bible looks like it started out as a game of mad libs."

"I think religion is a neurological disorder."

"I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally."

"There's an old, frequently-used definition of insanity, which is "performing the same action over and over, expecting different results."... Now, I'm no doctor, but I am on TV. And in my professional opinion, George Bush is a paranoid schizophrenic. ... Other symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia are: Do you see things that aren't there? Such as a link between 9/11 and Iraq? Do you - do you feel things that you shouldn't be feeling, like a sense of accomplishment? Do you have trouble organizing words into a coherent sentence? Do you hear voices that aren't really there? Like, oh, I don't know, your imaginary friend, Jesus? Telling you to start a war in the Middle East. Well, guess what? There are a large number of people out there also suffering from the same delusions, because there are Republicans, there are conservatives, and then there are the Bushies. This is the 29 percent of Americans who still think he's doing "a heck of a job, Whitey." And I don't believe that it's coincidence that almost the same number of Americans - 25 percent - told a recent pollster that they believe that this year - this year, 2007 - would bring the Second Coming of Christ!I have a hunch these are the same people. Because, if you think that you're going to meet Jesus before they cancel "Ugly Betty," then you're used to doing things by faith. And if you have so much blind faith that you think this war is winnable, you're nuts and you shouldn't be allowed near a voting booth."