Humor

"Special Post-Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Eating Crow" This year, it just tastes like Seahawk."

"Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Unger Games" If your meals depend on you beating the Seahawks, you're gonna go "'Unger-y."

"Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Tom Brady's balls" Nothing more than a publicity stunt to keep the NFL Network from losing San Francisco's market share."

"Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Marshawn Lynch" Not really shy. Still extremely embarrassed he believed you can't be charged for beating up on large groups of people-as long as you are carrying a football."

"I don't know what effect these men will have upon the enemy, but, by God, they frighten me."

"Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Just like me in 2003, it looks like Brian Williams ended up "Between Iraq and a Hard Place."

"Wisdom of the Ages: "National Symbol" With the preponderance of lawyers, banksters, arms, drug and tobacco dealers in our government, shouldn't our national symbol be changed from the eagle to the vulture?"

"Wisdom of the Ages: "Government" Like a mafia protection racket-without the protection."

"Don’t think you’re some kind of snowflake, suit guy. I’m a bitch to everyone."

"Water is the most essential element in life, because without it you can't make coffee."

"Better days are coming! They're called Saturday and Sunday."

"if any of your body parts become detached due to an unfortunate encounter with a crank, I highly advise you leave said body part behind and run like hell. Unless it's a leg, of course."

"I'll share my life with you. But, not my doughnuts."

"There are stranger things out there than flying pigs."

"If You Lose Your Keys, At Least It's Better Than Losing Your Car."

"What happened when the Verb asked the noun to conjugate? She said "no-no!", forgot the "o" and decided to become a nun!"

"Nostalgia ain't what it used to be."

"To all the ladies:" I don't like to be in ladies who judges you by every joke you made, sometimes I do good sometimes bad, don't laugh for me laugh for yourself if you really got it.; Otherwise I'm pretty happy with my own version. ;)"

"They say you can judge a person by their book, but I say they will hide under the covers."

"Deep down, he's shallow."