Funny

"I had a dream about you last night. We were plug sockets in the bedroom. We saw only a short part of their day, but we knew everything of it."

"I had a dream about you last night... you were there."

"I had a dream about you last night. We stopped telling each other about our dreams when we realized we were still inside them."

"I didn't dream about you last night. I woke up in fear."

"And since I’m marrying into the Quartet, I have certain privileges and duties. If you’re sleeping with Laurel—”“I’m not sleeping with Laurel. We’re dating.”“Right, and the two of you are just going to hold hands, admire the moon, and sing camp songs.”“For a while. Minus the singing."

"The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you."

"I had a dream about you last night.. You were balancing ten tiny footballs on your nose while dancing with a turquoise unicorn."

"Alright, good night,” he said, his words a little slurred. “But before I pass out, I want you to know that you’re the hottest biscuit this side of the gravy boat."

"Why' He asked.'Why what' What could I say? Noah, despite you being an asshole, or maybe because of it, I'd like to rip off your clothes and have your babies. Don't tell."

"I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline."

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."

"We usually learn from debates that we seldom learn from debates."

"One of the most common and most dangerous misbeliefs is that it is impossible for someone to be stupid just because they are a doctor or a lawyer."

"You don't have to feel grateful in order to be grateful."

"My faith gives me the ability to say, whatever is next, I'm ready. If it is Hillary or Trump I am ready because they might sit on the desk but they do not sit on the throne."

"There is a throne up there and someone is sitting on it. It is not you, the economy or your government. My God is still on the throne and I shall not worry."

"You can't love me if you don't love you, you can't think of nothing to do with me if you can't think of nothing to do with yourself, stop feeling sorry for yourself and tidy up, clean up the apartment until you get a house, do that job until you build your own company. Look at what you have and think on how to make it better."

"The closer the relationship, the greater the opportunities for intimacy. However the greater the opportunity the closer to offence. (A bit deep). Nobody can really make you mad more than someone that you really love. Nobody can hurt you like the somebody you have given your heart to."

"God takes two and make them one but satan takes one and make it two."

"Before Marriage opposite attracts, after marriage opposite attacks☺. Just telling you the truth."