Josh Billings

"Marrying for love may be a bit risky but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it."

"Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting things he has got."

"The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it."

"When a man comes to me for advice I find out the kind of advice he wants and I give it to him."

"Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist - it reduces him to his fighting weight."

"The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust."

"Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight."

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."

"To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while."

"Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today."

"Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time."

"There is one kind of laugh that I always did recommend; it looks out of the eye first with a merry twinkle, then it creeps down on its hands and knees and plays around the mouth like a pretty moth around the blaze of a candle, then it steals over into the dimples of the cheeks and rides around in those whirlpools for a while, then it lights up the whole face like the mellow bloom on a damask rose, then it swims up on the air, with a peal as clear and as happy as a dinner-bell, then it goes back again on gold tiptoes like an angel out for an airing, and it lies down on its little bed of violets in the heart where it came from."

"In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail."

"One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness."

"Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed."

"Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it."

"the squeeky wheel gets the grease."