Robert Orben

Robert Orben

"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
43 Quotes
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."
Robert Orben
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"Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards."
Robert Orben
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"Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down."
Robert Orben
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"Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?"
Robert Orben
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"Quit worrying about your health. It will go away."
Robert Orben
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"Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get."
Robert Orben
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"Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator."
Robert Orben
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"I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself."
Robert Orben
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"Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
Robert Orben
"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."
Robert Orben
"To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so."
Robert Orben
"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."
Robert Orben
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
Robert Orben
"Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years."
Robert Orben
"In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh."
Robert Orben
"I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff."
Robert Orben
"President Ford used humor a great deal."
Robert Orben
"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
Robert Orben
"I don't see why religion and science can't get along. What's wrong with counting our blessings with a computer?"
Robert Orben
"What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?"
Robert Orben
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