Robert Orben

Robert Orben

"Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there I go to work."
43 Quotes
"Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there I go to work."
Robert Orben
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"It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise."
Robert Orben
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"Did you ever see that painting the Mona Lisa. It always reminds me of a reporter listening to a politician."
Robert Orben
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"I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left."
Robert Orben
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"There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers."
Robert Orben
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"Planned obsolescence isn't a new idea - God always used it with people."
Robert Orben
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"Cheap? If he was at the Last Supper he would have asked for separate checks!"
Robert Orben
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"Wait'll next year!" is the favorite cry of baseball fans football fans hockey fans and gardeners."
Robert Orben
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"Have you noticed when you go on a diet the first thing you lose is your temper."
Robert Orben
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"I don't want to say anything about my kids . . . but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!"
Robert Orben
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"We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories."
Robert Orben
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"I take my children everywhere but they always find their way back home."
Robert Orben
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"New Yorkers are so impersonal if it wasn't for muggings there wouldn't be any contact at all!"
Robert Orben
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"I may be forty but every morning when I get up I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately there's never one around."
Robert Orben
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"It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years."
Robert Orben
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"My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age."
Robert Orben
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"Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian."
Robert Orben
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"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success."
Robert Orben
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"Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch."
Robert Orben
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"Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals."
Robert Orben
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