Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."
72 Quotes
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."
Bill Watterson
"At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own."
Bill Watterson
"You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!"
Bill Watterson
"CALVIN:Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien."
Bill Watterson
"The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity."
Bill Watterson
"[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It's me, Calvin! I was wondering if you'd like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy, I don't think you've ever invited me to... Calvin's Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin's Mom: You're contagious! You can't have anyone over to play! Calvin: Shhhh! Shhhh! You'll spoil the whole thing! I was going to trick Susie into catching... HEY! OW! LET GO! Susie: [Hanging up the phone] Any chance of getting transferred, Dad?"
Bill Watterson
"Specifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful."
Bill Watterson
"Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience."
Bill Watterson
"Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!"
Bill Watterson
"I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts."
Bill Watterson
"Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat."
Bill Watterson
"If you can't win by reason, go for volume."
Bill Watterson
"Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh! What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn't want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you'd cheat! I knew you'd win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming "Aaaaaaaaaaaa", then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, it's just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!"
Bill Watterson
"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."
Bill Watterson
"That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse."
Bill Watterson
"Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?"
Bill Watterson
"Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."
Bill Watterson
"I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations."
Bill Watterson
"Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?"
Bill Watterson
"We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are."
Bill Watterson
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