Bill Watterson

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."

"CALVIN:This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?HOBBES:I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN:Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God."

"That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!"

"Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one."

"“Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!”"

"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."

"Reality continues to ruin my life."

"You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help."

"What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?"

"You can make your superhero a psychopath, you can draw gut-splattering violence, and you can call it a "graphic novel," but comic books are still incredibly stupid."

"I'm a misunderstood genius."What's misunderstood"Nobody thinks I'm a genius."

"As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations."

"Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.-Hobbes"

"They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines."Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce."We need more special effects and dance numbers."

"“Reality continues to ruin my life.”"

"Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential — as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth. You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them. To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble."

"How come we play war and not peace"Too few role models."

"That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder."

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."