Mark Twain

Mark Twain

"When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn."
511 Quotes
"When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn."
Mark Twain
"A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it."
Mark Twain
"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."
Mark Twain
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."]"
Mark Twain
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it."
Mark Twain
"What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey."
Mark Twain
"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."
Mark Twain
"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."
Mark Twain
"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"
Mark Twain
"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
Mark Twain
"I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead."
Mark Twain
"A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory."
Mark Twain
"I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."
Mark Twain
"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also."
Mark Twain
"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
Mark Twain
"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain
"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know."
Mark Twain
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce."
Mark Twain
"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."
Mark Twain
"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well."
Mark Twain
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