Mark Twain
"If a cat sits on a hot stove, that cat won't sit on a hot stove again. That cat won't sit on a cold stove either. That cat just don't like stoves."
511 Quotes
"If a cat sits on a hot stove, that cat won't sit on a hot stove again. That cat won't sit on a cold stove either. That cat just don't like stoves."
Mark Twain
"Herodotus says, "Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all: the conscientious historian will correct these defects."
Mark Twain
"A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar."
Mark Twain
"The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies."
Mark Twain
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
Mark Twain
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."
Mark Twain
"Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it."
Mark Twain
"I have lived a long life and had many troubles, most of which never happened"
Mark Twain
"The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow."
Mark Twain
"I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly."
Mark Twain
"Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired."
Mark Twain
"We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore."
Mark Twain
"If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times."
Mark Twain
"It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech."
Mark Twain
"A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat."
Mark Twain
"Familiarity breeds contempt and children."
Mark Twain
"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."
Mark Twain
"The lack of money is the root of all evil."
Mark Twain
"I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English―it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them―then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice."
Mark Twain
"It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."
Mark Twain
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