Dark Jar Tin Zoo

"To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.
"

"She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert."

"If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.
"

"Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
"

"I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a politician, and must be destroyed.
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"I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep."

"“Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
”"