Sarah Rees Brennan, Team Human

"Personally, I'd prefer a guy who wants to see my boobs."

"Do you like him? Ty asked. "Not that I care." "I do," I said, because it was true. Even though it didn't matter anymore. "Not that I care you don't care. Though you clearly do care, and I don't care about that either." "Well, I don't care that you don't care that I don't care. In fact i'm glad. Because, um, if I were seeming someone that I liked, I'd want you to be happy for me."Are you seeing someone" I asked, pretty sure he wasn't. "Not that I care."

"I don't think he likes girls", I said. "Or boys. Look at the horror on his face. He doesn't look like a people person."

"Better overcautious than missing a jugular vein, as the saying goes."That was a very morbid saying. Maybe only vampire said it."

"Also, vampires don't eat food. You never get to eat chocolate again. Ever. I'd rather die."