Jim Butcher, Turn Coat

"That's Doctor Smart-ass. I didn't spend eight years in insult college to be called Mister."

"You're in America now," I said. "Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you'd prefer."

"As far as the Council is concerned, the U. S. Wardens are a bunch of mushrooms."Eh"Kept in the dark and fed on bullshit."

"Like “love,” “hope” is one of those ridiculously disproportional words that by all rights should be a lot longer."

"This is Waldo Butters, and his geek penis is longer and harder than any of ours put together."

"The human mind is not a terribly logical or consistent place."

"The human mind isn't a terribly logical or consistent place. Most people, given the choice to face a hideous or terrifying truth or to conveniently avoid it, choose the convenience and peace of normality. That doesn't make them strong or weak people, or good or bad people. It just makes them people."

"I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland."