Derek Landy, Death Bringer

"You think Bernadette Maguire killed him?”“Uh… no. She’s, like I said, she’s old.”“Old people can kill people too.”“I know, but…”“She could be a ninja.”“She’s not a ninja, for God’s sake. She’s somebody’s great grandmother.”“I want you to think carefully about this, Kenny. Have you ever seen her with a sword?”“What?”“How about throwing stars?”“This is ridiculous.”“Have you ever seen her dressed up as a ninja? That would have been my first clue.”The girl sucked in her cheeks so she wouldn't laugh out loud."

"What are we going to do when we get into the temple, anyway? Are we going to fight our way through the Necromancers on our"

"I can't tell you how may beautiful women have broken up with me because they were bored. I can't tell you because it never happened. They all adored me." "It was your humility, wasn't it?"

"You promise"I cross the place where my heart used to be and wish to be even more deader than I am now."

"Please don't arrest me."Listen to me, I'm not going to arrest you, ok? I'm not a cop."Are you sure"Am I sure I'm not a cop? yes, I'm sure."You could be undercover."

"That's ridiculous. The only point in having enemies is so you can defeat them, kill them, brush them aside."Or give them a chance to redeem themselves."

"Here she is,” her mum said, cooing at the baby, “my special girl.”“Oh, cheers,” Valkyrie said, rolling her eyes."

"I love stories with a happy ending,” Inspector Me said."

"The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves."

"I'm going to photograph every single person to enter and leave this tattoo parlour." Finbar rolled his eyes. "And they'll hate that, because people who get dragons drawn on their backs are normally so shy about other people noticing them."

"Skulduggery stood among the ruins of what had once been a sofa. Valkyrie raised an ey"

"Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed."

"Talking about one's feelings defeats the purpose of having those feelings. Once you try to put the human experience into words, it becomes little more than a spectator sport. Everything must have a cause, and a name. Every random thought must have a root in something else."

"You are a cynical man, Mr. Pleasant."We live in cynical times, Miss Cain."

"He crouched at the care window and looked in. "What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one." His finger jabbed the glass. "That one's a bit ugly."The American stepped towards him. "What? What did you say"Oh, don't worry. I'm sure his personality makes up for his face."

"I love you.''Yeah, well...''You make my heart want to beat.''That's nice and creepy. But I'm with Fletcher.(...) Also, these proclamations of your undying love for me are getting kind of... it's a bit much to be honest. Just hold back a little.''But my love for you is eternal.''That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about."

"So what does that actually mean''To be honest, Ghastly, I haven't a bull's notion.''Elder Bespoke should be addressed by his full title,' Tipstaff said.'Of course,' Skulduggery said. 'To be honest, Your Highness, I haven't a bull's notion."

"You make a good point,' Fletcher conceded. 'See, there's a reason why you're the girl and I'm the boy. You think about things while I...''Don't''Exactly,' he said happily."

"Come on. I know you're not a stupid man.''I'm quite stupid. Ask anyone.''Finbar, are there superheroes living among us' Finbar snorted with laughter and Kenny started to feel a little thick. 'Superheroes? In tights and capes, flying around? If there were superheroes, Mr. Journalist, don't you think they'd be in New York or somewhere like that? There's not that many tall buildings for Spiderman to swing from in Dublin, you know? He'd have maybe two good swings and then hang there looking disappointed.' 'These people don't wear tights and capes, Finbar.''So they're naked superheroes? That's grand for now, but when the good weather is over they're going to regret it.''They look like us. They dress like us. But they're not like us. They're different.''You,' Finbar said. 'Are sounding very racist right now."

"You should have called us. Desmond would have picked you up.''No I wouldn't,' Valkyrie's dad said, stepping into earshot. 'Sorry, Fletcher, but I had important fatherly duties to take care of, which included eating breakfast, showering, and finding my trousers. Of those three, I only managed two. Without looking down, can you guess which one I missed'... Fletcher smiled back. 'I just want to borrow Stephanie for a moment.''Take our daughter,' Valkryie's dad said, waving a hand airily. 'We have another one now."