Seanan McGuire, Discount Armageddon

"The problem with people who say monsters don't really exist is that they're almost never saying it to the monsters." —Alice Healy"

"Crazy gets all the knives."

"The Argentine tango isn't here to play nicely with the other children. The Argentine tango is here to seduce your women, spill things on your rug, and sneak out your bedroom window in the middle of the night."

"Parthenogenesis means never having your mother tell you to stop doing that or you'll go blind."

"Growing up in my family meant ambushes on your birthday, crossbows for Christmas, and games of dodge ball where the balls were occasionally rigged to explode. It also meant learning how to work your way out of a wide variety of death traps. Failure to get loose on your own could lead to missing dinner, or worse, being forced to admit that you missed dinner because your baby sister had tied you to the couch. Again."

"Anyone who thinks cryptozoology is the study of the impossible has never really taken a very good look at the so-called "natural world." Once you get past the megamouth sharks, naked mole rats, and spotted hyenas, then the basilisks, dragons, and cuckoos just don't seem that unreasonable. Unpleasant, yes, but unreasonable? Not really."

"I really don’t think you should put your hand inside the manticore, dear. You don’t know where it’s been. —Enid Healy"