P.G. Wodehouse

P.G. Wodehouse

"It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required."
59 Quotes
"It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required."
P.G. Wodehouse The Girl in Blue
"She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up."
P.G. Wodehouse
"Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice."
P.G. Wodehouse Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit
"Why do you want a political career? Have you ever been in the House of Commons and taken a good look at the inmates? As weird a gaggle of freaks and sub-humans as was ever collected in one spot."
P.G. Wodehouse
"The cells smell is a great feature of French prisons. Ours in No.44 was one of those fine broad-shouldered up and coming young smells, which stand on both feet and look the world in the eye. We became very fond and proud of it."
P.G. Wodehouse
"The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them."
P.G. Wodehouse
"It went automatically to a heavy-weight mother with beetling eyebrows who looked as if she had just come from doing a spot of knitting at the foot of the guillotine."
P.G. Wodehouse
"It was my Uncle George who discovered alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought."
P.G. Wodehouse
"Girls do go for the finely-chiselled. And apart from his looks, he's and artist, and there's something about artists that seems to act on the other sex like catnip on cats."
P.G. Wodehouse
"Feminine psychology is admittedly odd, sir. The poet Pope..."Never mind about the poet Pope, Jeeves."No, sir."There are times when one wants to hear all about the poet Pope and times when one doesn't."Very true, sir."
P.G. Wodehouse
"Luck is a goddess not to be coerced and forcibly wooed by those who seek her favours. From such masterful spirits she turns away. But it happens sometimes that, if we put our hand in hers with the humble trust of a little child, she will have pity on us, and not fail us in our hour of need."
P.G. Wodehouse
"Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?"
P.G. Wodehouse
"I spent the afternoon musing on Life. If you come to think of it, what a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what I mean."
P.G. Wodehouse
"Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good."
P.G. Wodehouse
"...writing Jeeves stories gives me a great deal of pleasure and keeps me out of the public houses."
P.G. Wodehouse
"Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably.'Go to hell!' said Bill.'Right-ho,' said his lordship."
P.G. Wodehouse
"Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind."
P.G. Wodehouse
"One of the Georges," said Psmith, "I forget which, once said that a certain number of hours' sleep a day--I cannot recall for the moment how many--made a man something, which for the time being has slipped my memory. However, there you are. I've given you the main idea of the thing; and a German doctor says that early rising causes insanity."
P.G. Wodehouse
"Man's inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing. One may reason with oneself clearly and forcibly without the slightest effect. One knows that delay means inconvenience. Perhaps it may spoil one's whole day. And one also knows that a single resolute heave will do the trick. But logic is of no use. One simply lies there."
P.G. Wodehouse
"[T]he success of every novel -- if it's a novel of action -- depends on the high spots. The thing to do is to say to yourself, "What are my big scenes" and then get every drop of juice out of"
P.G. Wodehouse
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