Steve Kluger

"My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off."

"Papa, I'm ashamed that you think women are so simple. We can make decisions for ourselves too, you know. I'm not a child or a baby anymore, so I'm allowed to speak my mind. And if you don't wish to hear it, just tell me so and I'll go into another room-but I'll speak it anyway. I want this for myself as much as I've never wanted the diplomatic corps and I'm going to get it-even if I have to do it alone. Excuse me."

"Communicating with the federal government is like talking to a computer that's crashing."

"Just because you discover that you may like somebody after all, it doesn't necessarily mean there's any attraction."