Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"I lie down and think about how this whole long, strange summer ought to end in a substantial event. But, probably, won't. For the first time I acknowledge the possibility that nothing will die, or change, or even happen."
45 Quotes
"I lie down and think about how this whole long, strange summer ought to end in a substantial event. But, probably, won't. For the first time I acknowledge the possibility that nothing will die, or change, or even happen."
"أستلقي وأفكر كيف أن هذا الصيف الطويل الغريب برمته كان ينبغي أن ينتهي بحدث جلل. لكنه، على الأرجح، لن يفعل. وللمرة الأولى أقرّ باحتمال ألا يموت شيء، أو يتغير، أو حتى يحدث."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"I know with unqualified certainty that I want to die. But I also know with equivalent certainty that I won't do anything about it. That I will only remain here and wait for death to indulge me."
"أعلم بيقين مطلق أنني أرغب في الموت. لكنني أعلم بيقين مماثل أنني لن أفعل شيئًا حيال ذلك. سأبقى هنا وحسب، أنتظر الموت ليتكرم عليّ."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"It's too warm for red wine; now I mix gin and tonics instead. I find they make the ordinary sensation of living lighter, less ruffled."
"الجو دافئ أكثر من اللازم للنبيذ الأحمر؛ صرتُ الآن أمزج الجن والتونيك بدلاً منه. أجد أنهما يجعلان الإحساس العادي بالحياة أخفّ وأقلّ اضطرابًا."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"This morning, I see the lead in my glass tumbler. A slim, bright glint, a silverfish. I feel it collecting in my blood, papercutting the lining of my veins."
"في صباح هذا اليوم، أرى الرصاص في كوبي الزجاجي. وميض نحيل، براق، كسمكة فضية. أشعر به يتجمع في دمي، يمزق بطانة عروقي كجرح ورقي."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"This morning, the sun endures past dawn. I realise that it is August: the summer's last stand."
"تُطيل الشمسُ اليومَ بقاءها بعد الفجر. أدركُ أننا في أغسطس: وقفة الصيف الأخيرة."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"What bothered me was all of the time he wasted by drumming, and all the time I wasted by listening to him drum, by taking pleasure in it, for pleasure is almost always a waste of time."
"أزعجني كل الوقت الذي أضاعه في قرعه على الطبل، وكل الوقت الذي أضعته أنا في الاستماع إليه وهو يقرع، وفي استمتاعي بذلك، فالاستمتاع يكاد يكون دائمًا مضيعة للوقت."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"Sometimes things happen that give me cause to believe I no longer exist. Car park barriers which do not lift when I drive towards them, automatic doors which do not open automatically as I approach."
"أحيانًا تحدث أمور تجعلني أظن أنني لم أعد موجودًا. حواجز مواقف السيارات التي لا ترتفع حين أقود نحوها، أبواب أوتوماتيكية لا تنفتح تلقائيًا عند اقترابي منها."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"And out the bus window, here is my dead world come true, my whole dead world in motion."
"ومن نافذة الحافلة، ها هو عالمي الميت قد تجسّد، عالمي الميت برمّته في حركة دائبة."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"I think: by the time I'm old, nobody will be able to die any more."
"أظن أنه بحلول شيخوختي، لن يعود بمقدور أحد أن يموت."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"But now I remember, of course, I'm never going to be old."
"لكنني أتذكر الآن، بالطبع، أنني لن أشيخ أبدًا."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"In the days approaching Christmas, she always reminds me of the previous year: 'Jane crocheted you an entire poncho, and all you gave her was a bone-shaped beach stone."
"في الأيام التي تسبق عيد الميلاد، كانت تذكرني دائمًا بالعام الماضي: "لقد حاكت لك جين شالًا كاملاً من الكروشيه، وكل ما أعطيتها إياه كان حجر شاطئ على شكل عظم."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"Our toys were sixteen or seventeen; only the very eldest were in their early twenties, because, apparently, I didn't envision anything of particular interest in life beyond twenty-five. And now I am a greater age than any of the toys were allowed to reach, older than I even cared to imagine as a child."
"كانت أعمار ألعابنا تتراوح بين السادسة عشرة والسابعة عشرة؛ ولم يكن في أوائل العشرينات إلا الأكبر سنًا بقليل، لأنني، على ما يبدو، لم أتخيل شيئًا ذا أهمية خاصة في الحياة بعد الخامسة والعشرين. والآن، أنا في عمر أكبر مما سُمح لأي من تلك الألعاب أن تبلغه، أكبر مما كنت أهتم حتى بتخيله وأنا طفل."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"But nowadays I feel guilty that I am granted the immunity of the artistically gifted, having never actually achieved anything to prove myself worthy."
"لكنني أشعر اليوم بالذنب لأنني مُنحت حصانة الموهوب فنيًا، ولم أحقق في الواقع شيئًا أثبت به جدارتي."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"But I have never wanted to be perceived as chatty and bright. I have always wanted to be solemn and mysterious."
"لكنني لم أرغب قط أن يُنظر إليّ كثرثارة ومشرقة. لطالما أردت أن أكون وقورة وغامضة."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"The old summer's-end melancholy nips at my heels. There's no school to go back to; no detail of my life will change come the onset of September; yet still, I feel the old trepidation."
"ها هو ذا حزن نهاية الصيف العتيق يقرص كعبي. لا مدرسة أعود إليها؛ لن يتغير أي تفصيل في حياتي مع حلول سبتمبر؛ ومع ذلك، ما زلت أشعر بالرهبة القديمة."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"I never went downstairs to join my housemates around the television. I cooked dinner later than everyone else and carried the plate up to my bedroom. I knew they must have thought me aloof, or a little bit eccentric, or maybe even unkind, but I didn't care. Once the kitchen door swung shut behind me, I was alone, and so everything was okay."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"Did it do me any good, early in life, to believe so many things which were not true? Or did it damage me? Pouring a foundation of disappointment, of uncertainty."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"I look at the cake in my mother's arms and think: here stands the only person in the whole world who'd go to such trouble for fractious, ungrateful me."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"Why is it only now that I can see how many ordinary things are actually grotesque?"
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
"People don't like it when you say real things."
Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking
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