Kinky Friedman

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

"How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?"

"You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing."

"Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail."

"May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore."

"“My dear,Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.~ Falsely yours”"

"I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass."

"If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong."

"I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us."

"The best fiction is true."