Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"There's nothing as useful as the truth, in terms of ruining anyone's day, week, month, year, decade, or life… Unless, of course, you own a remotely operated automatic flamethrower-drone-tower and have some marinated pork-chops on your person, to lure unsuspecting dogs in close proximity to it, but since dogs don’t really have lives - by using this specific method of torture, you can only improve the remaining few seconds of their existence."
60 Quotes
"There's nothing as useful as the truth, in terms of ruining anyone's day, week, month, year, decade, or life… Unless, of course, you own a remotely operated automatic flamethrower-drone-tower and have some marinated pork-chops on your person, to lure unsuspecting dogs in close proximity to it, but since dogs don’t really have lives - by using this specific method of torture, you can only improve the remaining few seconds of their existence."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"I want to be the most unsold, and the most unsought-after author, after I stop selling my fake name anagrams on the internet."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"If Jarod Kintz was a cat, he'd stalk people silently and deadly. Right now, all he does is bark at them for no good reason, like all the good people do."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"Fluttershyes are like regular shyes, only shinier, and, apparently - also shyer. Whenever petted - they don't flutter, but run away instead."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"Being skilled in Catsism is like being a ninja only deadlier and not so silent. The only bad thing is the sickening grammar you have to use."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"People skills are useless with cats, because cats are immune to training, and do whatever they decide in any situation... And most importantly they aren’t human."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"I don't sleep. I just let my body lie itself into numbness and lie to myself that I can't hear, see, or feel anything."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"Everything is like a wall. Said a scholar to the troll. Bang your head to go on through. Then you'll see, there is no queue."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"Dark alleys, like social networks, are romantic, because you never know what might happen while I perform there every Caturday night. Cats do know, but won't tell. So don’t even ask."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"Wasting time on timing stuff is a good way to save time from being wasted on other pointless activities like writing, reading, and sleeping."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"In days long past, Jarod said he’d write a sentence about my love, translated in Russian, and that sentence, like my love, is clearly not for sale, unlike his virginity, or this book, which I’m both offering at ten times the market value, so hurry up and buy now, before it goes down."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"Translating from #cat is easy - you just ignore everything, then you decide what you want it to have said, thought, or wanted."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"Someone. Everyone. Anyone. No-one. One. One can't be everyone, but there isn't more than one everyone, at the same time. And at the same time no-one can't be someone, but anyone can be one, and also anyone can be a no-one. To sum up - everyone is someone, and any-one becomes a no-one if you divide the one part long enough by every part of every-one, so in conclusion, I have no idea what I’m talking about, basically."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"An imaginary friend once asked me why Americans can't stand Russia. The answer was cold, deadly, silent, and, well expected. It’s because in Soviet Russia nothing happens anymore, because it doesn’t exist anymore. And Americans are all about happenings. If there isn’t one – they don’t go where it isn’t, because there isn’t anything to happen to them there."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"I fake fake to have a fake life. Does that make me a real horse? Buy now for $777, wooden saddle sold separately. Real horseshoes not included. Imaginary ones – neither."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"A book about books is like a poem about poetry:Books are knowledge, paid for, all. Readers - horses in a stall. Stallions should always run. Lest they stale become, in turn. Running waters are most clear. In some books, you disappear –lose yourself, and track of time. How I wish that one was mine... Mine, to have, to write, to read... Mine, just like a flying steed. Mine, forever, - to improve. Would I then, of me, approve?I would not, I can't... myself. I'm but dust, swept off a shelf. Fly, can I, just 'til I'm settled,down, beside my flower, petalled."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"Wonders amaze me. They can aim wanderlessly in any forest, be it of dark trees or lighted bushes. And apparently, as per what I’ve heard, they can buy stuff that’s on sale, but only if and when they feel wonderfully wonderful. Because otherwise they wouldn’t really be themselves, which would be a problem for them, because if they aren’t what they are - they can’t exist, and if they don’t exist – that makes them invisible and silent to all the wandering people, who may or may not be looking for them to sell themselves to."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don’t believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you’ll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn’t make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
"The more you believe, the more you'll be leaving you, when what you believed turns out to be just lies. Or unjust lies. Or any lies, anyway."
Will Advise, Nothing is here...
✉️
Get more quotes like Will Advise, Nothing is here...'s — every morning.
Join thousands of wisdom seekers getting daily quotes from 300,000+ curated sources.
Free forever. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.
🎉 Check your inbox to confirm your subscription!