WisdomArea — Wisdom & Inspiration

"Together we agree that there are few tableaus more pathetic than a woman poring over a plethora of self-help books, while in a small café across town her husband is sharing a bottle of Pouilly-Fuissé and fettucini Alfredo with a beautiful woman, fondling her fishnet knee and making careful plans to escape his life."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"I think: I would like to take N back to a story right now, like a rake. I would say, "Oh, this rake is uneven. Do you have any where the tines go straight across" I would like to do a straight exchange. But there are things that cannot be returned. Errant husbands are one of them. Wives are not. Wives can be exchanged; I have always known this."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"People told me not to get married; I didn´t listen. No one ever listens, it seems to me now. Perhaps people should stop trying to communicate. N was not a communicator; early on, I´d insisted on communication. Now I see his point acutely. I would love to have him back to not communicate with me. I would never ask for communication again, I would simply go elsewhere for the deep fish. Also, I´m not at all sure I want to hear what he has to say in this new vista. This works out well."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"This is much worse than losing a cat. You do not wish the cat dead, for example, after the first two days. You still love the cat and presumably the cat still loves you, or some variation of love that may in fact be dependence and even indifference. People should be informed, as adopting a cat and becoming married take about the same amount of time and money and yet have such drastically different results. Indeed, except for the similar price($28)and the average time spent together, all similarity between pet adoption and marriage ends nastily."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"This is much worse than losing a cat. You do not wish the cat dead, for example, after the first two days. You still love the cat and presumably the cat still loves you, or some variation of love that may in fact be dependence and even indifference."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"Conversely, I though humiliation would be everything, but it´s such a nothing."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"The real genesis is forbidden to me, vis-à-vis N´s inability to confess even the mildest transgressions."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"They ought to do away with divorce settlements. Instead, both parties should flip a coin. The winner gets to stay where he or she is and keep everything. The loser goes to Paraguay. That´s it."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"I sensed he may have occasionally strayed in some of his past relationships. It was something I felt but ignored, a rent in the fabric of an otherwise splendid garment I thought I could mend. I thought I could live with it—I thought, yes and I admit it, that I would be different. That at the very least, middle age and children would slow him down; however, they seemed to accelerate his pace."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"The abandonment came, and now this shabby bacchanal."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"This is much easier than when N left. Our son is unable to grasp and simultaneously turn doorknobs yet. If only this trick could be unlearned by men over thirty, many more families would celebrate Christmas together."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"Irrationally, I think, Will You Marry Me? Four words. I Want a Divorce. Four words. I would like time to count the letters as well, but there is not time."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"This people know where their husbands are. I would like to vomit. I would like to vomit my soul out."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"I want to own this transition, not to simply swallow the shame of it entire. I will push for every little irony."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"Soon he was online every night until one or two a.m. Often he would wake up at three of four a.m. and go back online. He would shut down the computer screen when I walked in. In the past, he used to take the laptop to bed with him and we would both be on our laptops, hips touching. He stopped doing that, slipping off to his office instead and closing the door even when A was asleep. He started closing doors behind him. I was steeped in denial, but my body knew."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"He left a bit too easily and with obvious relief. His feet were swift and sure on the muddy path."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"I know one thing about men," Bunny says with finality, leaving the room to check on A. "They never die when you want them to."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"I am going insane. Yes. That is what´s happening. Good. Insane."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"Bushwhacked, I examine my hands. Same hands. Rings still there but no longer valid."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

"I was steeped in denial, but my body knew."

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

Suzanne Finnamore, Split: A Memoir of Divorce

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