Matthew Heines

Matthew Heines

"Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Super Bowl Sunday" "Lost in a Roman wilderness of pain-and all the children are insane.-" The Doors"
37 Quotes
"Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Super Bowl Sunday" "Lost in a Roman wilderness of pain-and all the children are insane.-" The Doors"
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages: "Ferguson Riots" They were ready to tear America to shreds over their grief-right until the TV cameras left to cover the football games."
Matthew Heines
"Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Patriot Act" In theater and football, it's the last act before it's curtains for Seahawks opponents."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages: "Wildlife Education" When I was a kid, the only woodland creature I knew of was the squirrel. I guess that's why no one believed me when I told them a squirrel just ate two of my friends."
Matthew Heines
"Special Post-Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Eating Crow" This year, it just tastes like Seahawk."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages: "Skull and Bones" A secret society of spoiled twits whose apparent purpose in life is littering the landscape with as many as possible."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages: "Tooth Fairy" Growing up in the Northwest was tough. For years I thought the Tooth Fairy was a big boat with cars and sharp teeth."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages: "The Pope and Congress" It looks as if confidence in the American voter to exorcise the demons in the Capitol has completely fallen through."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages: "Soylent Green" No matter how many times I see that movie, I still get a hankerin' for a Big Mac."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages: "True Nobility" Comes not from thinking one is better than others-it comes from working toward the betterment of all."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages: "Hillary" Has replaced the term "battle-axe" to describe an undesirable mother-in-law in 37 languages."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages "Car Commercials" One of the last times you're ever gonna see that overpriced s-box not stuck in a traffic jam."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages: "Ski-ing" The act of visiting Polish people."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages: "BS" Has now replaced death, worthless IOU's and ignorance as America's number one export."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages: "Friendship" The only ship that can weather any storm."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages: "New Year's Eve" The last day you can do all the things you are resolving to give up-until you give up on your New Year's resolutions."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages "The Marshawn" US Army's new main battle tank. Runs over enemies instead of shooting them. Biggest expense: maintaining the dreadlocks hanging off the turret."
Matthew Heines
"Wisdom of the Ages: "Rainier" A beer and a mountain. You drink enough of one and the next day you feel like you fell off the other. All next week Wisdom of the Ages will be featuring the Seattle Seahawks and Super Bowl Topics. Tomorrow's Topic: "Tom Brady's Balls."
Matthew Heines
"Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Unger Games" If your meals depend on you beating the Seahawks, you're gonna go "'Unger-y."
Matthew Heines
"Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Wilson or Brady" The writing is on the ball..."
Matthew Heines
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