Shannon L. Alder

"Empowered Women 101: If he can't tell other women that he is happily married and acts in a way that suggests he isn't fully committed then he isn't happy. He is keeping his foot in the door for a better opportunity should it not work out with you. Real women don't need to investigate. They invest in their self confidence and worth by not allowing their man to disrespect them. They are not afraid to ask themselves the tough questions: Why am I letting this man humiliate me and value me less than others? Why have I allowed myself to become a doormat?"

"A person that doesn't know their worth will never know yours. Therefore, the longer you hang onto hope that they will finally see your worth is the moment you start to depreciate in value."

"When you love yourself you will never need closure from any man. That doesn't mean you didn't love him, it simply means you love yourself enough to realize God has a better plan for you that doesn't involve one more conversation that will remind you of that person's lack of respect for you."

"You will never let go of the past by ignoring the most painful thing the person you loved has done to you. When you begin to minimize it, second guess yourself and others, ignore it or even pretend it didn't happen you cheat yourself out of healing. Naturally, your mind would rather believe the lies you are telling it, rather than accept the truth. The soul has a way of protecting itself from trauma, but if left in denial there is no growth or change. Healing requires going to that place you avoid and asking yourself why you are so afraid to accept the reality of what happened to you? Why have you minimized it like this person has wanted you to? What is it about your self esteem that allows you to continue being a doormat?"

"The only person that deserves a special place in your life is someone that never made you feel like you were an option in theirs."

"I have known friendship love, parental love, romantic love, family love and unrequited love in my life time, but the only love that made a difference was self love. You don't need confirmation from the world or another person that you matter. You simply do matter. When you finally believe that truth and live it then you can do amazing things with your life!"

"The only real conflict you will ever have in your life won’t be with others, but with yourself."

"Unrequited love is the only emotion that allows sane people to taste the “life sentence” of someone with bipolar disorder. The longer they hang onto a lost cause the more unstable they look to everyone else. They contradict their own belief systems and statements, by circling the drain with two competing emotions—love and hate."

"Right person, wrong timing doesn’t mean God was wrong. It means you were there at the right time to fulfill something else. Look for it."

"What you give meaning to is what causes your emotion. Before you react know why you are giving something so much energy or fear. When you begin to understand why you give things meaning you can begin to change how you react and why you do what you do."

"Some people need significance more than they need another person. Change will only happen in a relationship when you realize it is not the person, but the "emotion" you desire."

"Try not to be a man or woman of success, but rather a man or woman of inspiration. If you’re successful, they will flock to you for money or fame, but if you’re inspirational, they will flock to you because they love your soul and how you change theirs."

"Don’t say you don’t have enough time or enough money to change the world. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Gandhi, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci and Jesus Christ."

"You can't be creative without criticism. If your life is without critics then maybe you are painting your life's masterpiece with only a broken brown crayon."

"Winning and losing is not an external game. It is an internal battle over telling yourself the truth vs. lies regarding why you haven’t stepped into the life you dreamed of."

"When what you value and dream about doesn’t match the life you are living, you have pain."

"A goal will always tell you where you don't want to be."

"When you have a plan in your mind of what the best life is for you, but it doesn't match your life, you have pain."

"The goal of a life purpose is not what you will create, but what it will make you into for creating it."

"Each of us has empty spaces in our heart that go through life being filled temporarily, by the various people we meet along the way. The trick is to find what needs to remain permanently filled in our soul and what needs to be filled occasionally through encounters."