Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster

"I just thank God my husband and I found each other before the advent of social media. I can't imagine dating someone and seeing what they're doing on their Facebook page. And people breaking up with each other over texts now? We had to break up with each other face to face back then."
12 Quotes
"I just thank God my husband and I found each other before the advent of social media. I can't imagine dating someone and seeing what they're doing on their Facebook page. And people breaking up with each other over texts now? We had to break up with each other face to face back then."
Jen Lancaster
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"My friend created an i Phone app that locates Vienna Beef products across the country. Personally, I came hardwired with an internal GPS that instinctively points me toward coffee shops, cupcake stores and the perfect Chicago-style dog, so I find this technology redundant."
Jen Lancaster
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"There's nothing fun about stuff like estate planning, getting mammograms, or talking to a guy about long term disability insurance, but do it anyway. Trust me, the stress of not having done the above is prematurely aging."
Jen Lancaster
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"I realized I couldn't have one foot in the fiction world and one foot in the nonfiction world, which is why 'Here I Go Again' is so not me. I didn't graduate from high school in the '90s, I never listened to metal music, and I don't time travel."
Jen Lancaster
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"I've always been able to cook Italian food. That's in my blood because I'm half Sicilian."
Jen Lancaster
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"When it comes to matters of pro sports, politics or palate, disparate sides claim their party, team and cola to be superior."
Jen Lancaster
"Remember when Japan was cool? We used to run around with 'Mr. Roboto' on our Walkmans, 'The Karate Kid' in our Betamaxes and wore T-shirts embossed with the characters for 'storm sewer' and 'dishwasher."
Jen Lancaster
"I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light."
Jen Lancaster
"Humor's an excellent way to make a point more palatable and/or relatable."
Jen Lancaster
"Amen,' I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says a month from now I'll have forgotten about it and will finally have said heart attack when I assume a rat shat in there."
Jen Lancaster
"If you're anorexic, you're doing it wrong."I swat him with a dish towel. "No, no, I mean anorexics look in the mirror, and even if they're eighty pounds, they still see a fat girl. I'm a hundred pounds heavier than I was in high school, my veins are full of creme fraiche, and yet I look in the mirror, take in the hair and makeup, and think, Damn, baby, you fiiine."
Jen Lancaster
"You want to change? Lose the bitch. Be nicer to people. Stop telling them to "bite you" and threatening to kick them until they're dead."
Jen Lancaster
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