Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

"I wanted to call you, but I find myself feeling...awkward when it comes to you."'Awkward' is the word du jour," I agreed. "So, I make you nervous"Not quite nervous," he said. "Just unsettled."I wriggled my eyebrows and inched a little closer to him. "Unsettled, that's even better."

"Would you kick her ass already" Dick said, shoving me back toward Missy. "Come on, Stretch, man up. You do better than this! Get mad."I nodded, rolling a dislocated shoulder back into place with a grunt and staggering back toward my opponent. Behind me, Zeb yelled, "She tried to hurt Fitz!" He turned to Gabriel and Dick. "That'll get her mad."Gabriel rolled his eyes. "She's been framed for murder twice over, shot in the back, her arms were set on fire, and her parents are being held hostage. You think tampered dog water is what's going to make her angry" "You tried to hurt my dog!" I wheezed as I lurched toward a grinning Missy."

"Jane Jameson."He grinned. "Like the porn"

"I offered you a choice, and you took it."I shot him what I hoped was a truly scathing glare. "Some choice. I was dying. Some drunk shot me from a pickup. Why wouldn't I have just woken up with gonorrhea like every other girl of loose moral fiber?"

"Get the point" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile. Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast. "What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like this?Too harsh?"

"Idiot," I said, before grinning broadly and crushing his mouth to mine. "We need to pick new pet names for each other," he muttered as I hefted myself up from the ground."

"I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked."

"Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet... Ew, did you..."Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because I'm that brainless."

"Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving canola oil and marabou feathers, I'm covered."

"Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone."If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a great comfort to me, thanks."

"Why not? If you're not going to let me see you naked, we might as well be girlfriends."You're a twisted little man."Come on, Stretch, share with the class."No!" I laughed."Prude."Perv."Schoolmarm."Some other word that essentially means perv."

"You want to stab me again, don't you"He didn't look at all ashamed. "Think of it as testing the limits of your new abilities."I groaned. "I've created a monster."I don't think someone who recently crawled from the grave should be throwing around labels like 'monster,'" he said, making sarcastic little air-quotes fingers. "It wasn't a grave," I sniffed. "It was a comfy four-poster."

"Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students."

"Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD."

"I always hoped for this spark of chemistry and compatibility, a flash of clarity to let me know that this was the guy, this was the time, so I should leg go and enjoy myself. But it never came. And by no small coincidence, neither did I."

"And soon we were just rolling around on the ground, cursing and screeching and ripping out handfuls of hair. Without super hearing, I wouldn't have heard Zeb whisper, "This is the coolest thing I have ever seen."Maybe they'll get muddy," Dick said. "Please, Lord, let them get muddy."

"I fixed your car," he said, tossing the keys from a jade dish on the little maple end table. I palmed them and eyed him speculatively. "You fixed my car"I have walked the earth for more than a century. I managed to pick up some skills along the way," he said, before reluctantly adding, "and one of them is finding skilled mechanics."I smirked, leaning against the wall. "You almost had me there."I supervised," he insisted."

"If looks could kill...well, Dick was already dead, so nothing would happen. But Gabriel was not laughing."See Dick," Dick said, pointing at his chest. He then swept his hand dangerously close to mind. "Jane. Dick and Jane. Come on, you humorless jackass. That's funny."

"Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out?"

"You are the night."I am the night," I repeated."You are the night."I cocked my head, sending him a questioning look. "I am the night"Jane!"Why is it that when you say my name, it sounds like a curse word?"