Steve Martin

Steve Martin

"If you've got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if you've got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. There's a math lesson for you."
39 Quotes
"If you've got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if you've got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. There's a math lesson for you."
Steve Martin
"I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is."
Steve Martin
"“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”"
Steve Martin
"I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too."
Steve Martin
"It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch."
Steve Martin
"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper."
Steve Martin
"I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't."
Steve Martin
"Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke."
Steve Martin
"Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes."
Steve Martin
"You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither."
Steve Martin
"I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them."
Steve Martin
"I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot."
Steve Martin
"Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol."
Steve Martin
"Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything."
Steve Martin
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
Steve Martin
"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."
Steve Martin
"Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way."
Steve Martin
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
Steve Martin
"Be so good they can't ignore you."
Steve Martin
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