Matthew Norman, Domestic Violets

"I instantly like people who laugh at my jokes. It's a weakness of mine."

"The captain of a ship can run a great ship, but he can't do anything about the tides."

"I think you'll be a great teacher," said Gary. That's his role in my life: blind encourager and ambassador of false senses of security."

"If a car can represent something, this one represents contradiction. For most of his life, my dad has been able to have any woman he wants. In response, he’s gone through as many as possible, betraying each for someone younger and more absurd. Conversely, for most of his life he’s been able to have any car he wants, too. In response, he’s remained married to this, a 1982 Porsche with a tricky clutch."

"I know nothing,” I say, cheerfully.“You never seem to. Have you ever wondered why that is?”“It’s very deliberate. I’ve found that knowledge is usually a burden. I prefer to be surprised and then eventually horrified."